[ it sounds like something his sister would have appreciated, feeling an intense longing that he just swallows down and frowns around. there are parts of himself that he should finally process and accept, but the fact that he'd died and left her alone – and has for years now – is something he'd rather ignore for as long as possible. if dorian wants to entertain him with music, then the least larus can do is listen. ]
I've never had an ear for music, but I'd like to know more about the things in your world. [ some of it feels similar to him, like he's stepped into an alternate version of his own. larus' expression lightens, almost amused. ] Are you an artist too?
[ meaning did he paint or draw. since he writes and is also musically inclined. those particular things larus never had too much interest in as a boy and still hadn't by the time he'd come of age. not that his parents had really cared about that, but it had left him with a lot of time on his hands to fill in his own way.
if larus is thinking of more or even suggesting more, it might not come for a while. no matter how intensely he listens to the steady thrum of dorian's heartbeat. ]
I can paint, but I haven't in years. [Even the idea of picking up a brush again still stings after the terrible fallout from the last time he painted.] Music and storytelling have always been more of my avenues of self-expression-- that and indulging in the works of others.
[Thinking about it does send an odd shock through his system that he hasn't had time to realize yet: none of what was once readily available to him is accessible here. Whole volumes of words, entire collections of illustrations, and all of those copies of plays and poetry gifted to him by dear, long-dead friends. Everything's trapped back in his own world and gathering dust in his home. All of it he can live without, but in time he knows he'll miss and crave it.
He'll have to start searching for new art and elevated words to fill in the chasm.]
If you aren't that interested in music, what's something you like to do?
['I don't care' is a common refrain from Larus, so it'll be interesting to see if he does have some kind of passion tucked away like a buried treasure.]
[ larus is silent for a moment, digesting what dorian's said about his likes. it would make finding things to fill this apartment with a lot easier, especially if he saw something that larus thought he might enjoy. his lips thin in response to that question though. ]
I haven't thought about it in a long time. [ it's not an 'i don't know', but it's close. ] I liked swimming though. Being outdoors. I used to scale the cliffs by the seaside with a friend of mine before my family moved to the Dusk.
[ he wasn't so wild as egil, only choosing the freedom of being away from his parents when he could, but it's something he had liked. it reminds him just how different the dusk is, how bleak and drenched in crime the further one crawled into the district. but larus can't afford those memories now, meeting dorian's eyes with just a hint of a smile pulling at his mouth. almost fond despite the particular heaviness of what he says next. ]
My sister would like you. You have a lot of the same interests.
[Swimming, cliffs, and being by the seaside. How he keeps finding vampires with nature-oriented bents, he doesn't know. The little offering tugs hard at Dorian's heart in a way he wishes it wouldn't.
So he pushes the thought away. There's a deeply tempting self-indulgence in reaching for shreds of an old lover in someone new, but it's not the same, and never will it be. As long as he's dwelling, he'll stay as frozen in place as he has been for months.
And isn't that the whole point of a new start, regardless of whether it's forced upon him or not? To try and make something new against all odds?]
Let's do that, then, [Dorian decides. He's insistent, suddenly invigorated.] I'm sure this place has something approaching a body of water. We could go there at night, and bring candles and a blanket to make it day under the stars.
[Paper over, in part, the aching wound in his heart with something different, with someone he's coming to trust.]
And you can tell me about your sister. [His voice evens out, softening in response to what's clearly a painful topic.]
[ he doesn't like this. the suggestion of intimacy, of things that he hadn't ever considered giving himself after he'd been turned. dorian seems oddly eager for it, searching what he knows of this place and wondering if there's somewhere they could go. a body of water—a lake, the ocean. larus runs the edge of his tongue against the sharp point of one of his fangs, frown deepening the longer he watches dorian. there's more to all of this that he isn't seeing, but he can't ask.
not right now. maybe not even later. ]
It's sounds like you're asking to take me out.
[ his tone might imply a tease, but it's much too soft for that. larus would rather deflect to anything else other than talking about sofie. how much he misses her, how he'd forced himself to stay away with the thought that mourning his death would be better than knowing what had actually happened to him. it is painful, and he's not quite there yet to even begin to speak much on it. ]
[ but he only thinks it because it's not something he's used to. this kind of attention, the earnest way they always seem to meet and come together. there's something there, something larus can't put his finger on, and it's going to consume him the longer they're around one another.
his voice is softer still. ] Is that something you want?
[Reaching out a hand, Dorian brushes strands of thick, wavy hair out of Larus' face as they slide to cover his cheek when he dips his head slightly. A smile curving his lips, Dorian leans in to press his lips against the vampire's cool forehead. Like any creature preserved eternally in a moment of youth, his skin is soft.]
Come with me. I haven't seen the ocean in some time, either. We'll visit it again together.
[ the heat that radiates from dorian is like an inferno, desperate to draw him in just to consume him, and larus sits uncomfortably still as the rush of dorian's pulse slides over him. he can feel his breath across his skin, the familiarity of him that he hadn't been able to get out of his mind since the first time they met. perhaps it's just the desire to be close, to feel something outside the stark memory of pain that had accompanied arriving in duplicity, but larus finds himself moving, palm pressing against dorian's chest as his fingers curl into his shirt. ]
You only have to tell me when.
[ it's quiet agreement, turning his face ever so slightly and conscious of the position of his mouth near dorian's jaw. all of this is dangerous, and he shouldn't allow himself to want any of it. still, it doesn't keep him from encouraging it, like he has something to prove by not pulling away. ]
[Dorian registers that moment of stiffness, but in the heat of wanting, writes it off as uncertainty.
It turns out to be the right choice, as cool fingers weave into the fabric of his shirt. That little touch is all it takes to tip him over the edge of reaching for a temptation that's burned in him on and off in Larus' company. Whether it's a good choice or not --aligned with his desire to be good around this young immortal-- is a thought that's shrugged off in favor of impulsive need the same way so many similar ones have been over hundreds of years.
Dorian slips his fingers more deeply into Larus' hair, his hand eventually falling to the back of the vampire's neck to draw him in. He tips his head, exhaling a warm and silent breath, and finding Larus' lips for a kiss-- not deep, but wanting.]
[ there's the immediate taste of dorian's drink when their mouths meet, the heat of his lips and skin soaking into larus and warming him in a way he hasn't experienced in so long. not since those nights spent tangled up in casimir's bedsheets and the fragrance of the incense he keeps tucked away in a safe place—the only memory of home he'd somehow brought with him aside from his sister's photo.
it pains him to think about it, to think about any of it. so, he doesn't. he buries it away somewhere else and presses into the contact to deepen it, to urge dorian to kiss him the way they've both obviously been thinking about. the hand in his shirt only tightens, his other used for balance against dorian's knee as he leans into him. he could overpower him, push him down into the cushions of the sofa they sit on and touch him. see what lies underneath all of his purposeful words and actions, but he's slow to do much just yet, wanting to savor this moment for what it is.
[Larus doesn't have to push hard. This is the sin Dorian indulges in most often, and there's a familiar thrill and outpouring of desire as lips part and he tastes the sweet chill of the other man's tongue. At the same time there is, too, a sudden warmth that passes over the ice that's encased his heart for months: a spark of a reminder that he's still alive, even if it's not enough to sustain him. But the ready acceptance is stirring, and Dorian meets the passion he feels emanating from the other man in equal measure, taking the hand on his knee at the wrist and putting it on his body. (Yes, please do touch him.)
His impression of the other man is deepening as he's met with, through the conversation happening between lips and hands, a depth of feeling that's only sometimes apparent in the softening and shifting of Larus' tone when they talk about difficult subjects. It's immediately addictive-- like delving through layers of stone only to find something warm, oppressive, and also somehow tender, encased within.
All of it will be something to stew in later when his mind isn't twisted up in the immediacy of the moment.
When Dorian pulls apart to take a breath, his eyes are darker and hooded with lust. There's no deeper reflection or momentary consideration of what's happening in favor of instinctual response. Without objections, he's going to draw the vampire against him again and into his lap, his lips falling upon Larus' neck in harder kisses interspersed with scrapes of teeth as he makes his way upward.]
[ it's too quick, too easy. larus senses the urgency and desire as soon as that hand is around his wrist, silently giving him permission to touch, and he tumbles into it without missing a beat, drowning in the taste, the sensation of heat and life that pours from him. his fingers seek out warm flesh under the hem of his clothes, flattening his palm against dorian's side so he can curve it around and feel the expanse of his back. but he fumbles when he's pulled forward, straddling him and finding an oddly uncomfortable tightness blooming in his chest with the pressure of dorian's mouth against his neck.
he makes a sound – a sigh, some displeased little thing – in the back of his throat and uses the hand still against his chest to push him backwards into the cushions. it's only a partial display of strength, ignoring the monstrous part of him that grows excited when he turns his head to press a kiss against dorian's jaw. larus follows it to his ear, listening to the rush of his heart hammering away, and it's his turn to mouth at dorian's neck, recalling suddenly that small detail about how he enjoys being bitten.
larus won't. he absolutely will not, but he only has so much control, taking the time to graze dorian's skin with the edge of his fangs like a promise. like he's thinking about it. that line he cannot cross though, not after they've already come this far and larus is all but outright admitting he wants dorian in a way that's not quite so platonic or practical. ]
[Dorian can't help the breath that leaves him at the feeling of fangs teasing against his neck. It's such a familiar and romantically-coded gesture to his body by now that his response is practically written into his nervous system.
He can, however, reach for control of the moments that follow as the rest of him starts catching up to what's happening. He opens his eyes (when did he shut them?), fixing Larus with a hard, but not cold, stare.]
Don't. [He's mastering himself quickly enough, but it's a struggle the entire way through. Taking a breath, Dorian reaches up to wrap fingers around Larus' jaw firmly. There's only a chance that this offering of fangs is meant to be more than a simple tasting of what could be, but it's too much.
As much as Dorian knows himself well enough to know it would sing directly to his rotten and debased core. How achingly bittersweet and pleasurable it would be, to again share himself with someone he feels connected to by being bound through blood.
That's the entire point, and why he's stopping Larus. For different reasons, this is a line too far for both of them.]
[ boundaries, he thinks, and it's good to know where he might have pushed too far. larus looks at him, suspended there like he's been caught. if he had to breathe, he would suddenly find that he couldn't, but all he does is swallow and turn his head away, letting his mouth brush at dorian's fingers before leaning back to sit.
it's such a small motion, his body already aching to be close again. to feel that warmth, to savor the angles and the way their mouths fit together. maybe he could take it again, but larus needs a moment to think, now uncertain if staying there is the best course of action for either of them. they should talk about it, and yet, larus finds that he's already grown tired of talking. at least about those things. ]
I won't. [ the words are rough, a bit pained. there's an apology somewhere that he can't force himself to give. so, he shakes his head, frustrated with himself. ] You know how I feel about it.
[ or larus assumes dorian does. how many times has he said that he doesn't take pleasure in biting? how many times would it take to see just how quickly that becomes a lie if he's hungry enough for it? ]
I heard you. [It's part of the reason why he stopped them from even playing at the idea-- that, and the need to clamp down on his own weakness before it threatened to tear him apart at the seams. The grip on Larus' jaw loosens, and Dorian's fingers drift to the man's hair instead, brushing through it with slow, caring fingers.]
That's why I helped. [Because the only way a temptation ever releases its hold is when someone gives into it. No matter how reprehensible the desire, that is the truth as Dorian understands it, and has understood ever since his true youth.]
[ larus wants to protest – something about not being a child, about having control – but he remains silent instead, eyes drifting closed for a moment to savor the touch of dorian's fingers through his hair. he's still straddled atop him, settled comfortably despite the momentary interruption, and the look he gives dorian is surprisingly gentle as he lifts his hand to lightly stroke his thumb against the curve of his cheek. ]
I like kissing you.
[ an absent thought but an honest one, murmured softly between them like it's their secret alone to have. it's something else for larus to admit it, but he wants dorian to know that he isn't opposed to more of that or even just sitting in his company for a while longer. ]
[A short silence, in which Dorian drops his free hand to rest it on Larus' hip as he settles into the plush cushions at his back. The soft look the vampire has for him is something worth savoring, as is the pleasant, trusting, and sexually-tinged intimacy between them.
It's a bit of a climb back from the emotional speed bump they hit, but the sweet, gentle touches to his face help.]
Then by all means, [he offers, voice pure velvet.]
[ larus wouldn't have stopped, wouldn't have bitten him, so there's something there they should talk about at some point. but he doesn't feel the need to do so just yet, tempted by that invitation to indulge just a little longer. there's nothing wrong with testing what this is and what it might be, sweeping his fingers into dorian's hair and slipping them just under his head as he leans down to kiss him.
it's firm contact, savoring his warmth and chasing after it with his tongue when he kisses him deeper. if he considers it too hard, larus would simply be content to press himself into dorian and drown in the sound of his heart thundering beneath his ear as he rested his face against his chest. but that's something that might come later, instead using his free hand to reach for the one at his hip and urging dorian to touch him as he wants. ]
[Time with a new lover is something worth indulging in to the fullest, and taking in moment by exquisite moment. Larus' skin is so soft and so cold, and the sensation when Dorian slips hands under his shirt (any invitation to touch is one he will gladly take) to touch him sends shivers up his spine and desire tightening deep in his abdomen. Part of him would very much enjoy taking this man apart, and tasting him in the most visceral way possible. It feels like an inevitability that he will.
It would be something, too, to lay Larus out and see his face soften completely in the midst of reckless pleasure. By necessity, such a complete relinquishing of one's guard is rarer for them than ordinary people. It would be moving.
Beautiful.
For now, though, he'll take his time.
When the chance comes, Dorian wraps an arm around the small of the vampire's back, fingers dragging over pale flesh, drawing him closer and hard against his groin with intention. The stiff roughness of jeans against him is excellent (and achingly familiar, again) and Dorian exhales in a rush at the feeling.]
[ time is really all larus can offer him right now anyway, sinking into the heat that surrounds him and every touch that dorian offers. he even arches into the weight of his hand, purposely focusing on the physical rather than anything his brain might tell him. that the fingers against his skin don't feel quite right, that the shape of the mouth against his is wrong. that it's not someone he loves but someone he could potentially hold something for that resembles much more than simple affection. at least there's attraction, shifting down against him when he's tugged close for the friction.
he breaks the kiss, lips sliding over dorian's cheek. then the shell of his ear. when he speaks, his voice is low and soft and just right there. ]
Tell me what you want.
[ it's an earnest question, wondering if this had been the plan all along or if it's just a natural progression of the tension that's developed between them. larus had felt it the moment they'd first met, and now, being here with him, having told him more than he's ever willingly offered up about anything personal, it says too much. it says he needs to be careful even as his fingers gently tug at dorian's hair to tip his head back so their eyes meet. ]
[Dorian's other hand falls to create twin grips on the other man's hips.
He wants Larus. Along with the sympathy he feels for the young vampire, there's another part of him, quiet but insistently hungry, that always craves soft and passionate things and to lay blackened hands upon them to see how they change.
He's not really thinking. Not when his blood is rushing in decidedly the opposite direction of his brain.]
To see the rest of you. [It's offered unwaveringly.] To take you apart slowly, and watch the expressions change on your face.
[ it's an admission he should expect, something he's sensed since the beginning of their exchanges. larus could say no; he knows he could, considering it even as he leans back slightly to look at him. there's intensity in the way he watches him, but it's not quite the same as what dorian says. he has no interest in taking him apart or any of the other things he claims. he just wants — ]
You could if I let you. [ sliding his fingers down dorian's chest, his hands go to the hem of his own shirt. ] I don't know if I give you all of that just yet, but I do want you.
[ there's no reason to lie about it, and larus strips out of his shirt without hesitation, dropping the fabric over the side of the sofa just before dipping forward to kiss him again. it's harder this time, sharp, and with some sort of end to work towards, he no longer hesitates to touch him, his intention now to help dorian undress. ]
[That response earns a smile in return, probably because it's so characteristic of Larus as he's coming to know him. Unwelcoming, but somehow still interested. The complexity of the reaction stokes the flares of Dorian's interest more than if the vampire had simply fallen to him. He watches the other man discard his shirt, and then reaches out to lay hands on smooth, moon-pale flesh.
The sight is as moving as he imagined. For every vampire Dorian has ever had any feeling for at all, he's wished that he could hold the mirror of his appreciation up to them to show them a fraction of how impressive they are. It's more than the perfection of an unchanging form. It's the suspension of young lives, and how achingly human their struggles with their own inhumanity are. It's not something people like Toby or Larus would understand in the same way that he does and Dorian does know that, but his appreciation is boundless nonetheless.]
How?
[He had been genuine back during one of their earlier conversations when he'd said that he doesn't want anything that wouldn't be given willingly.]
[ there's something incredibly personal about being open this way, shirt off and bare to the hands to practically sear into him. larus has warmed slightly from the constant contact of dorian's body heat, but it's still a craving that he can never get enough of. much like his own bloodlust, pausing as he takes a moment to savor the spread of dorian's hands at his chest.
is he meant to tell him? should he tell him? maybe that part doesn't matter so much. ]
I want to know you, [ he says eventually, shifting to get one of his hands between them. his fingers find the fastening of dorian's pants, toying with it idly. ] Your mind, your body. What it's like for you to want me too.
[ there's no desperation, no finality. it's just what larus feels is appropriate, the honesty of someone who can't actually speak what they truly desire. he wants the closeness too, wants to be able to confide in dorian and have some sort of steadiness in this city while he figures out exactly what his life means now that he's unable to achieve what he's aimed to do since he'd died. larus kisses him again, a soft nip at his lower lip punctuating what follows: ]
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I've never had an ear for music, but I'd like to know more about the things in your world. [ some of it feels similar to him, like he's stepped into an alternate version of his own. larus' expression lightens, almost amused. ] Are you an artist too?
[ meaning did he paint or draw. since he writes and is also musically inclined. those particular things larus never had too much interest in as a boy and still hadn't by the time he'd come of age. not that his parents had really cared about that, but it had left him with a lot of time on his hands to fill in his own way.
if larus is thinking of more or even suggesting more, it might not come for a while. no matter how intensely he listens to the steady thrum of dorian's heartbeat. ]
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[Thinking about it does send an odd shock through his system that he hasn't had time to realize yet: none of what was once readily available to him is accessible here. Whole volumes of words, entire collections of illustrations, and all of those copies of plays and poetry gifted to him by dear, long-dead friends. Everything's trapped back in his own world and gathering dust in his home. All of it he can live without, but in time he knows he'll miss and crave it.
He'll have to start searching for new art and elevated words to fill in the chasm.]
If you aren't that interested in music, what's something you like to do?
['I don't care' is a common refrain from Larus, so it'll be interesting to see if he does have some kind of passion tucked away like a buried treasure.]
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I haven't thought about it in a long time. [ it's not an 'i don't know', but it's close. ] I liked swimming though. Being outdoors. I used to scale the cliffs by the seaside with a friend of mine before my family moved to the Dusk.
[ he wasn't so wild as egil, only choosing the freedom of being away from his parents when he could, but it's something he had liked. it reminds him just how different the dusk is, how bleak and drenched in crime the further one crawled into the district. but larus can't afford those memories now, meeting dorian's eyes with just a hint of a smile pulling at his mouth. almost fond despite the particular heaviness of what he says next. ]
My sister would like you. You have a lot of the same interests.
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So he pushes the thought away. There's a deeply tempting self-indulgence in reaching for shreds of an old lover in someone new, but it's not the same, and never will it be. As long as he's dwelling, he'll stay as frozen in place as he has been for months.
And isn't that the whole point of a new start, regardless of whether it's forced upon him or not? To try and make something new against all odds?]
Let's do that, then, [Dorian decides. He's insistent, suddenly invigorated.] I'm sure this place has something approaching a body of water. We could go there at night, and bring candles and a blanket to make it day under the stars.
[Paper over, in part, the aching wound in his heart with something different, with someone he's coming to trust.]
And you can tell me about your sister. [His voice evens out, softening in response to what's clearly a painful topic.]
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not right now. maybe not even later. ]
It's sounds like you're asking to take me out.
[ his tone might imply a tease, but it's much too soft for that. larus would rather deflect to anything else other than talking about sofie. how much he misses her, how he'd forced himself to stay away with the thought that mourning his death would be better than knowing what had actually happened to him. it is painful, and he's not quite there yet to even begin to speak much on it. ]
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But it is convincing.]
Is there something wrong with that?
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[ but he only thinks it because it's not something he's used to. this kind of attention, the earnest way they always seem to meet and come together. there's something there, something larus can't put his finger on, and it's going to consume him the longer they're around one another.
his voice is softer still. ] Is that something you want?
notifs doing me dirty ):<
Nothing would delight me more.
[Reaching out a hand, Dorian brushes strands of thick, wavy hair out of Larus' face as they slide to cover his cheek when he dips his head slightly. A smile curving his lips, Dorian leans in to press his lips against the vampire's cool forehead. Like any creature preserved eternally in a moment of youth, his skin is soft.]
Come with me. I haven't seen the ocean in some time, either. We'll visit it again together.
they just don't want them to kiss
You only have to tell me when.
[ it's quiet agreement, turning his face ever so slightly and conscious of the position of his mouth near dorian's jaw. all of this is dangerous, and he shouldn't allow himself to want any of it. still, it doesn't keep him from encouraging it, like he has something to prove by not pulling away. ]
too bad for them!!
It turns out to be the right choice, as cool fingers weave into the fabric of his shirt. That little touch is all it takes to tip him over the edge of reaching for a temptation that's burned in him on and off in Larus' company. Whether it's a good choice or not --aligned with his desire to be good around this young immortal-- is a thought that's shrugged off in favor of impulsive need the same way so many similar ones have been over hundreds of years.
Dorian slips his fingers more deeply into Larus' hair, his hand eventually falling to the back of the vampire's neck to draw him in. He tips his head, exhaling a warm and silent breath, and finding Larus' lips for a kiss-- not deep, but wanting.]
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it pains him to think about it, to think about any of it. so, he doesn't. he buries it away somewhere else and presses into the contact to deepen it, to urge dorian to kiss him the way they've both obviously been thinking about. the hand in his shirt only tightens, his other used for balance against dorian's knee as he leans into him. he could overpower him, push him down into the cushions of the sofa they sit on and touch him. see what lies underneath all of his purposeful words and actions, but he's slow to do much just yet, wanting to savor this moment for what it is.
for what it might lead to in the future. ]
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His impression of the other man is deepening as he's met with, through the conversation happening between lips and hands, a depth of feeling that's only sometimes apparent in the softening and shifting of Larus' tone when they talk about difficult subjects. It's immediately addictive-- like delving through layers of stone only to find something warm, oppressive, and also somehow tender, encased within.
All of it will be something to stew in later when his mind isn't twisted up in the immediacy of the moment.
When Dorian pulls apart to take a breath, his eyes are darker and hooded with lust. There's no deeper reflection or momentary consideration of what's happening in favor of instinctual response. Without objections, he's going to draw the vampire against him again and into his lap, his lips falling upon Larus' neck in harder kisses interspersed with scrapes of teeth as he makes his way upward.]
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he makes a sound – a sigh, some displeased little thing – in the back of his throat and uses the hand still against his chest to push him backwards into the cushions. it's only a partial display of strength, ignoring the monstrous part of him that grows excited when he turns his head to press a kiss against dorian's jaw. larus follows it to his ear, listening to the rush of his heart hammering away, and it's his turn to mouth at dorian's neck, recalling suddenly that small detail about how he enjoys being bitten.
larus won't. he absolutely will not, but he only has so much control, taking the time to graze dorian's skin with the edge of his fangs like a promise. like he's thinking about it. that line he cannot cross though, not after they've already come this far and larus is all but outright admitting he wants dorian in a way that's not quite so platonic or practical. ]
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He can, however, reach for control of the moments that follow as the rest of him starts catching up to what's happening. He opens his eyes (when did he shut them?), fixing Larus with a hard, but not cold, stare.]
Don't. [He's mastering himself quickly enough, but it's a struggle the entire way through. Taking a breath, Dorian reaches up to wrap fingers around Larus' jaw firmly. There's only a chance that this offering of fangs is meant to be more than a simple tasting of what could be, but it's too much.
As much as Dorian knows himself well enough to know it would sing directly to his rotten and debased core. How achingly bittersweet and pleasurable it would be, to again share himself with someone he feels connected to by being bound through blood.
That's the entire point, and why he's stopping Larus. For different reasons, this is a line too far for both of them.]
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it's such a small motion, his body already aching to be close again. to feel that warmth, to savor the angles and the way their mouths fit together. maybe he could take it again, but larus needs a moment to think, now uncertain if staying there is the best course of action for either of them. they should talk about it, and yet, larus finds that he's already grown tired of talking. at least about those things. ]
I won't. [ the words are rough, a bit pained. there's an apology somewhere that he can't force himself to give. so, he shakes his head, frustrated with himself. ] You know how I feel about it.
[ or larus assumes dorian does. how many times has he said that he doesn't take pleasure in biting? how many times would it take to see just how quickly that becomes a lie if he's hungry enough for it? ]
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That's why I helped. [Because the only way a temptation ever releases its hold is when someone gives into it. No matter how reprehensible the desire, that is the truth as Dorian understands it, and has understood ever since his true youth.]
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I like kissing you.
[ an absent thought but an honest one, murmured softly between them like it's their secret alone to have. it's something else for larus to admit it, but he wants dorian to know that he isn't opposed to more of that or even just sitting in his company for a while longer. ]
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It's a bit of a climb back from the emotional speed bump they hit, but the sweet, gentle touches to his face help.]
Then by all means, [he offers, voice pure velvet.]
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it's firm contact, savoring his warmth and chasing after it with his tongue when he kisses him deeper. if he considers it too hard, larus would simply be content to press himself into dorian and drown in the sound of his heart thundering beneath his ear as he rested his face against his chest. but that's something that might come later, instead using his free hand to reach for the one at his hip and urging dorian to touch him as he wants. ]
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It would be something, too, to lay Larus out and see his face soften completely in the midst of reckless pleasure. By necessity, such a complete relinquishing of one's guard is rarer for them than ordinary people. It would be moving.
Beautiful.
For now, though, he'll take his time.
When the chance comes, Dorian wraps an arm around the small of the vampire's back, fingers dragging over pale flesh, drawing him closer and hard against his groin with intention. The stiff roughness of jeans against him is excellent (and achingly familiar, again) and Dorian exhales in a rush at the feeling.]
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he breaks the kiss, lips sliding over dorian's cheek. then the shell of his ear. when he speaks, his voice is low and soft and just right there. ]
Tell me what you want.
[ it's an earnest question, wondering if this had been the plan all along or if it's just a natural progression of the tension that's developed between them. larus had felt it the moment they'd first met, and now, being here with him, having told him more than he's ever willingly offered up about anything personal, it says too much. it says he needs to be careful even as his fingers gently tug at dorian's hair to tip his head back so their eyes meet. ]
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He wants Larus. Along with the sympathy he feels for the young vampire, there's another part of him, quiet but insistently hungry, that always craves soft and passionate things and to lay blackened hands upon them to see how they change.
He's not really thinking. Not when his blood is rushing in decidedly the opposite direction of his brain.]
To see the rest of you. [It's offered unwaveringly.] To take you apart slowly, and watch the expressions change on your face.
I can do it, easily.
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You could if I let you. [ sliding his fingers down dorian's chest, his hands go to the hem of his own shirt. ] I don't know if I give you all of that just yet, but I do want you.
[ there's no reason to lie about it, and larus strips out of his shirt without hesitation, dropping the fabric over the side of the sofa just before dipping forward to kiss him again. it's harder this time, sharp, and with some sort of end to work towards, he no longer hesitates to touch him, his intention now to help dorian undress. ]
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The sight is as moving as he imagined. For every vampire Dorian has ever had any feeling for at all, he's wished that he could hold the mirror of his appreciation up to them to show them a fraction of how impressive they are. It's more than the perfection of an unchanging form. It's the suspension of young lives, and how achingly human their struggles with their own inhumanity are. It's not something people like Toby or Larus would understand in the same way that he does and Dorian does know that, but his appreciation is boundless nonetheless.]
How?
[He had been genuine back during one of their earlier conversations when he'd said that he doesn't want anything that wouldn't be given willingly.]
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is he meant to tell him? should he tell him? maybe that part doesn't matter so much. ]
I want to know you, [ he says eventually, shifting to get one of his hands between them. his fingers find the fastening of dorian's pants, toying with it idly. ] Your mind, your body. What it's like for you to want me too.
[ there's no desperation, no finality. it's just what larus feels is appropriate, the honesty of someone who can't actually speak what they truly desire. he wants the closeness too, wants to be able to confide in dorian and have some sort of steadiness in this city while he figures out exactly what his life means now that he's unable to achieve what he's aimed to do since he'd died. larus kisses him again, a soft nip at his lower lip punctuating what follows: ]
I want whatever you're willing to give me.
omg i'm so sorry
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interesting that theyโre hesitant about the exact opposite things
they're honestly ridiculous and i love them for it
800% ridiculous and itโs great
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