[ he shouldn't like this so much, is the thing. he shouldn't be thinking about all of the similarities jaskier and casimir have, how he calls him darling and dear like it's perfectly normal between them. he shouldn't be thinking about how easy it is to escape the nuances of the city when he crawls into jaskier's window and soaks up all the little things about him. it's unfair, and yet — ]
I'll think about it. [ this time, it is a tease. ] Half an hour?
[ another huff. but clearly there's no real offense here. instead, when he continues speaking, his affection for the vampire is evident in his tone. and it's strange, because jaskier has never taken to anyone so quickly as he has to larus. except, perhaps, geralt. but there are no similarities between larus and geralt. they're so different, and for some reason, jaskier takes comfort in that. ]
[ he's been called worse. he's been known as worse. so, it doesn't actually phase him much.
larus ends the call with a soft 'alright' and deviates from his plans to head back towards the elevators so he can return to the down. it's not as if he was actually going to do much anyway. maybe check in on daphne, concerned that she might never wake up from the coma she'd fallen into. but there were others to do that too, and something about spending time with jaskier was less sobering than that. in the end, he doesn't mind, and it only takes him about twenty minutes to reach jaskier's building.
he climbs it in a few seconds, taking care to test the glass before pushing the window open and slipping inside. a glance around tells him not much has changed, though he wonders what the rest of the place must look like now. ]
It doesn't really look like you've been gone. [ it's a quiet observation, not wanting to disturb whatever he might be doing. ]
[ sitting in the chair where he usually keeps his lute, an empty wine glass dangling from his fingers, jaskier immediately looks up once larus arrives. a pleased grin spreads on his features and he sets aside the glass to get up and approach the young vampire. when he's close enough, he reaches out to flick at larus' hair. ]
Geralt's been taking care of it for me. I suppose he felt guilty after I left. And I don't blame you for feeling that way. It seems like I was only home for a few seconds.
[ larus can't remember if they've ever discussed geralt, though he believes the name is familiar somehow. it's not something he presses however, reaching for the wrist of the hand messing with his hair. he does remember this part though. the warmth of his skin, his heartbeat. those are things he could never forget the entire time he stays in duplicity. ]
Did it feel that way to you? A few seconds, I mean.
[ he's never had that happen to him before, so part of him is more curious than he should be. ]
[ smirking just a little, he tugs at the hand gripping his wrist, using it as an excuse to step closer. he also lifts his other hand to flatten his palm against larus' chest, wondering if the other is still a bit skittish about physical touch. ]
Basically, yes. As if being there was merely a blink in time. But at the same time, when I was home, it was as though no time had passed.
[ he heaves a dramatic sigh, forlorn and very much "oh woe is me." ]
Alas, it has a strange impact on me. It's hard, almost, to tell what is reality and what is dreaming.
[ it's not that he'd ever been particularly skittish about being touched. he'd just rather have the choice and control in allowing it to happen, his eyes dropping to the hand on his chest before sliding up to watch jaskier's face. there's still that urge to compare him to people in his life from back home, especially with how expressive he always is, but he forces it down with a slight tilt of his head, eventually deciding to meet that touch by stepping forward into it. ]
There's nothing about this that could ever be a dream. [ a pause, and he purposely exhales, though softly. ] Unless your dreams put you in positions like this so they feel real.
[ and like he's proving a point, he gives jaskier's wrist a squeeze. ]
You'd be surprised. I've had some very vivid dreams.
[ his breath hitches when his wrist is squeezed, and not out of fear or pain. rather a hint of excitement, because jaskier has always been drawn to those with power over him. at lettenhove, he had power over others simply because of his birth. but on the path with geralt, and more frequently here, that loss of power to someone else has a way of making his blood sing in his veins. and there has always been something about larus that's made it easy for him to trust the vampire. even while knowing he could come to harm. ]
Both here, and back home. One or two may have involved you.
[ larus narrows his eyes for a moment, perplexed by what he says. ]
I would believe that if you had them here. [ because he's heard no one remembers anything about this place once they leave it. he wonders how true that is. ] I don't want to ask, but you could tell me about them.
[ it's left for jaskier to decide, sliding his hand down a bit further along the other man's arm just to feel the warmth of his skin. he can never help it, especially if he's with someone with a heartbeat, and maybe those are old habits he should leave behind eventually, moving in so he's close enough to gently grip jaskier by the chin. they've never crossed an intimate barrier, but it's on his mind now, simply watching him and wondering why he'd invited him there in the first place. ]
[ jaskier's eyes never stray from larus' because he intends to prove himself. not just how much he cares for him, but also that he has no fear of him. he's not afraid of what the future for them holds in this city. rather, knowing now he could be sent home again at any second, jaskier wants to diminish the distance between them completely. to show to larus how he feels because jaskier knows the other won't just accept words. ]
You come to me in the middle of the night, sliding through the window with the sky at your back. You draw close as I sleep, steps so quiet they don't disturb me. But as you climb on the bed to join me, I awake and as my eyes adjust to see your silhouette, my breath stills, and I reach out. I want to press my lips against your shadows and feel my heart echo in your chest.
[ it's a nice sentiment, he thinks. to be that close to someone and to know that they want to be just as close. larus has come to terms with a lot of things about himself, and though there's still that ever-present need for blood hanging down over him, he's had more control over things in the past several months than he ever has. but he's also worried that the city will take that from him, that he'll do something he regrets. slowly, he flattens his hand to cup the side of jaskier's face. ]
Chances are I might do that so often you'll start locking your window.
[ the tease is barely there, though the slightest hint of a smile gives it away. ]
[ his lips quirk, and his lashes flutter down to lay against his cheeks for a moment. though larus' hand is cold, he thrills in the touch. craves it, almost. and he turns his head just enough to press his mouth in a kiss against that palm. as he does, his eyes meet larus' again, gaze soft and affectionate.
curling his fingers into the cloth of larus' shirt, he tugs lightly, knowing that if he didn't want to be close, larus could easily break the contact. jaskier hopes he doesn't. he desperately wants to see where this will go. ]
If I do lock the window, it'll be to keep you inside with me.
[ the gesture is sweet, and unbidden, it makes his heart ache. he misses so many things from home, and though it really has nothing to do with jaskier, larus can see enough similarities to make him crave the warmth of his skin and the taste of it along his tongue. and that thought alone would usually be enough to force him away, cause him to take a step back and ask what jaskier really wanted from him.
all of this is obvious enough on its own. he just needs to be the one to see it through. ]
Or you could ask me to stay.
[ he prefers honesty to the fluff of what-ifs, and to make that clear, larus leans into him, his fingertips stroking lightly along the curve of his jaw. ]
[ humming lowly, jaskier flutters his lashes again, a scant breath escaping him. maybe, he realizes, this is what larus needs. a confirmation. jaskier knows he can't promise forever. this city prevents that, and jaskier is the type to fall fast and to run away just as fast. he's been called a cad many times before, by many lovers or partners of lovers.
with larus, somehow, it feels different. he doesn't want to say it, not yet ready to put anything to words like he normally would. defining this is by no means easy.
that said, jaskier has always been a man who knows what he wants. so he tugs on larus' shirt again. ]
[ he'd rather not hold onto any sort of promises that neither of them can keep. the laws of this city dictate certain things, and not only that, they really don't know each other all that well in terms of histories or experiences. larus doesn't know how much more he's willing to open up to others either, to allow them in and risk the pain that comes with loving or caring about someone. but jaskier's confirmation is tender and something he wants. it's something he'd like to pursue. ]
Not all night, [ he says, because the dawn is always a reminder. not that it penetrates the down, but he needs to return to the up and check on daphne at some point. ] But for a while, I'll stay with you.
[ it's all he can offer right now, and to prove it, he pushes into that slight space between them to kiss him, the fingers at his jaw sliding around to cup the back of his head. ]
[ leaning further into larus, he hums low and quiet. his lips part for the vampire, willing him to take this just a little bit further. again, he tugs on larus, and again, trails his fingers through his hair. jaskier has always been a very tactile kind of person, and even though larus is cold under his hands, he wants desperately to warm him up.
and though larus says only for a little while, that this won't be for all night, jaskier believes that it'll be enough for now. at least for a little while, until the craving for the feel of larus' cold fingers against his skin returns. ]
[ he doesn't mind being touched. in truth, he prefers it because it does help to warm him, and the longer he's pressed against someone, the easier it is to feel some semblance of human for a while. so, larus takes advantage of it, purposely ignoring jaskier's hands while he shrugs the jacket he's wearing off his shoulders. it's easier to move then, following the insistence of those pulls to step forward and slide an arm around his waist so that all larus has to do is navigate them elsewhere.
and he could, purposely moving them back a few steps to demonstrate the strength he rarely ever uses. especially in moments like these. ]
Is this really why you asked me here?
[ whispered against jaskier's mouth, he can't help wondering. he won't even be upset with the answer. ]
[ as the jacket is discarded, jaskier moves to remove his shirt. it's a flimsy thing anyway, and doesn't take much to toss aside. once gone, his hands are back on larus, and he makes no effort to resist as he's guided back. the strength larus usually hides sends a spike of heat down his spine. ]
Not the only reason.
[ and it's true. there's no lie in his words because once jaskier had resettled, one of the first people he wanted to see again was larus. their brief reunion on the train had not been enough for him to be satisfied. and he wants to make sure that larus is doing well, might even be happy to see him. ]
[ there's more he could ask, but for a moment, he finds himself distracted just looking at him. larus knows he could spend what little time he plans to give to jaskier this night simply exploring him, tracing the curves and angles of his body to put them to memory—one he hopes to keep in case he really doesn't see him again. it would be an easy thing, unable to stop himself from wondering if jaskier would be too impatient to stand it.
he considers it and then decides against it for now, sliding a hand up the other's back and gently pressing his fingers into him. strange, he thinks, how easily he could tear him apart. break him, ruin him. there are parts of larus that he hides deep, and they surface at the most inappropriate times, this being one of them. still, he kisses him until jaskier needs to breathe.]
Tell me. [ as he draws back, he sinks the flat edge of his teeth into his lower lip to bite him softly. ]
[ jaskier's sharp intake of breath betrays just how good it feels to have those steadily warming fingers press inside. the contrast of the chill of larus' fingers and the feel of his own heat is a bit of a shock, but the kind that jaskier lives for. he wants so, so much. is so unbelievably greedy, that when their kiss finally breaks, the first sound he makes is a keen, low but loud. ]
I- I— [ he hisses as those teeth sink into his lower lip. pleased and so incredibly aroused. ] I just... just don't want you to be lonely. You, hn, always seem so sad. And I...
[ it seems this could be an easy and quick way to quiet him, but larus loathes to use such tactics. if anything, he just likes to listen to him. how he responds, how he breathes. how he lives. ]
I'm not lonely, [ he murmurs against his chin, fingers tracing over the muscles of his back and along the shape of his ribs. ] But I'm glad you're thinking of me.
[ because larus can never tell him how he doesn't think of anyone the moment they're gone from his life. to protect himself, inevitably, from being hurt, and the only one that remains a constant is his maker, the bastard that he'll always be. but he pushes those thoughts aside to continue touching him, thumbing idly at one of jaskier's nipples as his mouth follows the line of his throat and teases with the sharp edge of his fangs. ]
[ if jaskier is anything, he is most certainly alive. even at his lowest moments, he is always full of life, enough to share with others. even at forty-one years old ( but looking only 25 ), he has the vitality of someone who lives every day like it's his last. it's hard to shut him up, but the way larus' teeth scrape against unmarked skin, his fingers tease a hardening nipple, jaskier can't help but clench his teeth around another hiss, another curse. ]
Fuck. [ it's quietly said with a punched out breath. ] You always seem like it. I- hn didn't want to be a nosy ba-astard, but it just seems... seems like you're afraid to open yourself to others.
[ and if anyone would recognize the signs, it would be jaskier. twenty years around someone who refused to show emotion because it could be used as a weakness... well, jaskier knows for a fact that geralt of rivia may claim to be an emotionless witcher, but he is also a man who feels probably more deeply than anyone jaskier knows. perhaps aside from larus.
eventually, the teasing is starting to make him impatient, he reaches up to tangle his fingers into larus' hair and tugs. ]
[ are they really going to talk about this right now?
they probably could, grunting quietly at the pull to his hair and giving jaskier a look that says it was less about pain and more about inconvenience. it takes his mouth away from his skin, the curious thought of what he would taste like if he sank his teeth in and drew blood. he sighs and ignores it, using both hands to cup jaskier's face and tip his head so their eyes meet. ]
Do you want me to tell you how I feel? Or do you want me to make you come? [ there's an ultimatum settling in the quiet as he leans to rest their foreheads together. his voice is rough but soft. ] I'll only follow through with one.
[ at least for now. the next time they're together will be different, and that's something larus is going to have to deal with when it happens. ]
[ jaskier's features immediately morph into a pout. what a jerk! though he supposes that kind of conversation should be saved for another occasion. and jaskier is determined enough to track larus down later, if he has to. for now, he licks his lips and meets larus' stern gaze. slowly, the pout shifts into a smirk and he quickly locks his still-clothed legs around larus' hips. now, larus will be able to fully feel jaskier's ardor.
he tries to tug his head out of larus' grip, jerking forward in hopes of another kiss, or at least to bring their lips closer. ]
I want to fuck, of course. But don't think I'll forget our discussion.
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Fine, fine. Larus, my dear, darling Larus, I would simply love if you come and visited me.
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I'll think about it. [ this time, it is a tease. ] Half an hour?
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[ another huff. but clearly there's no real offense here. instead, when he continues speaking, his affection for the vampire is evident in his tone. and it's strange, because jaskier has never taken to anyone so quickly as he has to larus. except, perhaps, geralt. but there are no similarities between larus and geralt. they're so different, and for some reason, jaskier takes comfort in that. ]
I'll be waiting.
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larus ends the call with a soft 'alright' and deviates from his plans to head back towards the elevators so he can return to the down. it's not as if he was actually going to do much anyway. maybe check in on daphne, concerned that she might never wake up from the coma she'd fallen into. but there were others to do that too, and something about spending time with jaskier was less sobering than that. in the end, he doesn't mind, and it only takes him about twenty minutes to reach jaskier's building.
he climbs it in a few seconds, taking care to test the glass before pushing the window open and slipping inside. a glance around tells him not much has changed, though he wonders what the rest of the place must look like now. ]
It doesn't really look like you've been gone. [ it's a quiet observation, not wanting to disturb whatever he might be doing. ]
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Geralt's been taking care of it for me. I suppose he felt guilty after I left. And I don't blame you for feeling that way. It seems like I was only home for a few seconds.
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Did it feel that way to you? A few seconds, I mean.
[ he's never had that happen to him before, so part of him is more curious than he should be. ]
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Basically, yes. As if being there was merely a blink in time. But at the same time, when I was home, it was as though no time had passed.
[ he heaves a dramatic sigh, forlorn and very much "oh woe is me." ]
Alas, it has a strange impact on me. It's hard, almost, to tell what is reality and what is dreaming.
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There's nothing about this that could ever be a dream. [ a pause, and he purposely exhales, though softly. ] Unless your dreams put you in positions like this so they feel real.
[ and like he's proving a point, he gives jaskier's wrist a squeeze. ]
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[ his breath hitches when his wrist is squeezed, and not out of fear or pain. rather a hint of excitement, because jaskier has always been drawn to those with power over him. at lettenhove, he had power over others simply because of his birth. but on the path with geralt, and more frequently here, that loss of power to someone else has a way of making his blood sing in his veins. and there has always been something about larus that's made it easy for him to trust the vampire. even while knowing he could come to harm. ]
Both here, and back home. One or two may have involved you.
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I would believe that if you had them here. [ because he's heard no one remembers anything about this place once they leave it. he wonders how true that is. ] I don't want to ask, but you could tell me about them.
[ it's left for jaskier to decide, sliding his hand down a bit further along the other man's arm just to feel the warmth of his skin. he can never help it, especially if he's with someone with a heartbeat, and maybe those are old habits he should leave behind eventually, moving in so he's close enough to gently grip jaskier by the chin. they've never crossed an intimate barrier, but it's on his mind now, simply watching him and wondering why he'd invited him there in the first place. ]
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You come to me in the middle of the night, sliding through the window with the sky at your back. You draw close as I sleep, steps so quiet they don't disturb me. But as you climb on the bed to join me, I awake and as my eyes adjust to see your silhouette, my breath stills, and I reach out. I want to press my lips against your shadows and feel my heart echo in your chest.
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Chances are I might do that so often you'll start locking your window.
[ the tease is barely there, though the slightest hint of a smile gives it away. ]
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curling his fingers into the cloth of larus' shirt, he tugs lightly, knowing that if he didn't want to be close, larus could easily break the contact. jaskier hopes he doesn't. he desperately wants to see where this will go. ]
If I do lock the window, it'll be to keep you inside with me.
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all of this is obvious enough on its own. he just needs to be the one to see it through. ]
Or you could ask me to stay.
[ he prefers honesty to the fluff of what-ifs, and to make that clear, larus leans into him, his fingertips stroking lightly along the curve of his jaw. ]
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with larus, somehow, it feels different. he doesn't want to say it, not yet ready to put anything to words like he normally would. defining this is by no means easy.
that said, jaskier has always been a man who knows what he wants. so he tugs on larus' shirt again. ]
Then stay. At least for tonight. Stay with me.
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Not all night, [ he says, because the dawn is always a reminder. not that it penetrates the down, but he needs to return to the up and check on daphne at some point. ] But for a while, I'll stay with you.
[ it's all he can offer right now, and to prove it, he pushes into that slight space between them to kiss him, the fingers at his jaw sliding around to cup the back of his head. ]
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and though larus says only for a little while, that this won't be for all night, jaskier believes that it'll be enough for now. at least for a little while, until the craving for the feel of larus' cold fingers against his skin returns. ]
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and he could, purposely moving them back a few steps to demonstrate the strength he rarely ever uses. especially in moments like these. ]
Is this really why you asked me here?
[ whispered against jaskier's mouth, he can't help wondering. he won't even be upset with the answer. ]
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Not the only reason.
[ and it's true. there's no lie in his words because once jaskier had resettled, one of the first people he wanted to see again was larus. their brief reunion on the train had not been enough for him to be satisfied. and he wants to make sure that larus is doing well, might even be happy to see him. ]
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he considers it and then decides against it for now, sliding a hand up the other's back and gently pressing his fingers into him. strange, he thinks, how easily he could tear him apart. break him, ruin him. there are parts of larus that he hides deep, and they surface at the most inappropriate times, this being one of them. still, he kisses him until jaskier needs to breathe.]
Tell me. [ as he draws back, he sinks the flat edge of his teeth into his lower lip to bite him softly. ]
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I- I— [ he hisses as those teeth sink into his lower lip. pleased and so incredibly aroused. ] I just... just don't want you to be lonely. You, hn, always seem so sad. And I...
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I'm not lonely, [ he murmurs against his chin, fingers tracing over the muscles of his back and along the shape of his ribs. ] But I'm glad you're thinking of me.
[ because larus can never tell him how he doesn't think of anyone the moment they're gone from his life. to protect himself, inevitably, from being hurt, and the only one that remains a constant is his maker, the bastard that he'll always be. but he pushes those thoughts aside to continue touching him, thumbing idly at one of jaskier's nipples as his mouth follows the line of his throat and teases with the sharp edge of his fangs. ]
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Fuck. [ it's quietly said with a punched out breath. ] You always seem like it. I- hn didn't want to be a nosy ba-astard, but it just seems... seems like you're afraid to open yourself to others.
[ and if anyone would recognize the signs, it would be jaskier. twenty years around someone who refused to show emotion because it could be used as a weakness... well, jaskier knows for a fact that geralt of rivia may claim to be an emotionless witcher, but he is also a man who feels probably more deeply than anyone jaskier knows. perhaps aside from larus.
eventually, the teasing is starting to make him impatient, he reaches up to tangle his fingers into larus' hair and tugs. ]
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they probably could, grunting quietly at the pull to his hair and giving jaskier a look that says it was less about pain and more about inconvenience. it takes his mouth away from his skin, the curious thought of what he would taste like if he sank his teeth in and drew blood. he sighs and ignores it, using both hands to cup jaskier's face and tip his head so their eyes meet. ]
Do you want me to tell you how I feel? Or do you want me to make you come? [ there's an ultimatum settling in the quiet as he leans to rest their foreheads together. his voice is rough but soft. ] I'll only follow through with one.
[ at least for now. the next time they're together will be different, and that's something larus is going to have to deal with when it happens. ]
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he tries to tug his head out of larus' grip, jerking forward in hopes of another kiss, or at least to bring their lips closer. ]
I want to fuck, of course. But don't think I'll forget our discussion.
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