[ Carver nods just once. It wasn't like this at the start. He approached Larus because he was paid to and that should have been the end of it. But it spiraled. It shifted into something different. ]
It is.
[ He's quiet for a long moment, then shifts and puts an arm around Larus. ]
Don't know what it means. But I like how it feels with you.
[ It's a quiet moment, something that's pulled even tighter when Carver embraces him, and he leans close, breathing him in and listening to the gentle sound of his heart beating. These are things he'll never forget, doesn't want to forget. It's odd how intense that feeling is right now. ]
Tell me what else you like.
[ An obvious deflection, though he presses his mouth to the column of Carver's throat to soften it. ]
[ Carver huffs a little, tipping his head back to bare his throat. With anyone else, it would be a threat. Something to be met viciously. Here, it’s just a continuation. And he closes his eyes, settling. ]
Oh, I see how it is. [ A light tease. He runs his fingers through Larus’s hair. Always, always gentle. ] Mhmm. I like this. How you fuck me. When you let me fuck you. How it feels when you grab my hair.
[ Good, tactile things. It matters. He’s quiet for a moment, still touching Larus’s hair. ]
I like how you tell me the truth, [ he adds, a little softer. ]
[ He thinks about sinking his teeth in, tasting him and repeating this thing that's gotten them this far. The feeling is always, always there, but he ignores it, almost gentle as he kisses a path upward. Larus presses his lips to Carver's jaw, his chin. His fingers find their way into his hair, and he draws their faces close. ]
I like those things too. [ It's almost difficult to admit, his voice oddly thick. ] Being with you is –
[ His eyes settle on him. ] I've never had this with anyone else.
[ That sits between them for a long moment. Carver just pulls Larus tighter to him, breathing out slow. They're both more dressed than not. It ought to be awkward but it isn't somehow. It just is. ]
[ He doesn't know how to answer that for a while, settling against him instead and sinking into Carver's embrace until there's nothing else to think about but this. Larus wonders if any of this is going to last, if it actually means something. Outside of the sex, they haven't really done much else together.
Tipping his head, he presses his lips to Carver's jaw. ]
I want it to be. [ There's an even longer pause. ] How do you feel about a date?
[ It's not something he'd considered either, but it feels right to ask, leaning into the fingers in his hair. If this is something that's going to happen between them, maybe they should try to make it more. ]
I don't know. I never had time to do those things back home. [ Larus looks at him. ] What would you want to do?
[ He knows, realistically, that it shouldn't a hard question. People go out all the time. They do this shit even in weird places like Duplicity. And he did this shit once, with Riley. With a couple other people in high school. So just pick something. ]
Me and Riley used to go out and play darts, [ he says finally. ] You wanna do that?
Larus pushes back enough to balance on an elbow and really look at Carver's face, his knuckles gently pressing into the curve of his cheek. They shouldn't be having this conversation, not when they're only agreeing to continue doing this thing between them, but it seems like a natural progression of things. ]
You'll have to show me how to play.
[ Quiet agreement, and he tilts forward to kiss him. ]
[ That gets a faint smile as Carver hums into the kiss, cupping his hand to the back of Larus’s neck. He likes the idea of teaching Larus something new. ]
I can do that, [ he agrees softly. ] I’d offer to cook for you, or something, but I don’t think you eat.
[ There are plenty of things he doesn't know, things he could learn if he took the time, but it had always taken a backburner to the life he'd chosen back home. As always, this is different. All he needs to do is to look ahead, focus on the things that are important here, and Larus leans into him again, content to let the conversation just... happen. ]
Not anymore. [ But there's appreciation in his tone that Carver would even offer. ] Is that something you like doing?
Yeah, [ Carver agrees softly, and closes his eyes. He likes this, he thinks. The closeness. How they can just hold each other sometimes. ] My grandma taught me. I’m good at it. Calms me down.
[ Not much does these days. ]
And having good food matters when people are starving. I could do that for them.
[ Larus is quiet for a moment, taking in the contact and the words. Every little detail that Carver gives him is tucked away, tipping his head to lightly press his mouth to the curve of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. ]
Maybe I can try it one day. [ Somehow. If something in this city ever allowed him that. ] Or I could make you tea. I still remember a few things about being alive.
[ He didn't drink it before the world ended but after it was something they scavenged, something novel and good. A break to the momentum when things were rough. He trails his fingers absently over Larus's back, just holding him. Eyes still closed. ]
[ There's a soft hum in response, something easy and light and agreeable. He's strangely content to stay like this, Carver's arms around him and his face tucked close. Larus shifts to press his forehead against his shoulder, knowing that this moment isn't going to last as soon as the sun comes up.
[ For a moment, Carver doesn’t say anything. He just holds, trailing his fingers over the lines of Larus’s back. Holding him. He doesn’t do this much, with anyone. It doesn’t come easily. ]
[ Carver cracks his eyes, watching Larus. It’s an oddly subdued moment but that’s okay. It’s just what’s happening. And it feels good like this, having another person pressed close. ]
You want me to keep watch?
[ He’d do that for Shaw, for the others. Sleep in shifts so someone was always on guard. ]
[ Carver huffs a little at that, running his fingers through Larus’s hair. It’s a quiet, easy affection. He doesn’t have this with anyone else. ]
[ Maybe it ought to be said. This thing between them still feels inexplicable, and it ought to be stranger than it is. But he’s grateful for it, in the end. ]
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It is.
[ He's quiet for a long moment, then shifts and puts an arm around Larus. ]
Don't know what it means. But I like how it feels with you.
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Tell me what else you like.
[ An obvious deflection, though he presses his mouth to the column of Carver's throat to soften it. ]
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Oh, I see how it is. [ A light tease. He runs his fingers through Larus’s hair. Always, always gentle. ] Mhmm. I like this. How you fuck me. When you let me fuck you. How it feels when you grab my hair.
[ Good, tactile things. It matters. He’s quiet for a moment, still touching Larus’s hair. ]
I like how you tell me the truth, [ he adds, a little softer. ]
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I like those things too. [ It's almost difficult to admit, his voice oddly thick. ] Being with you is –
[ His eyes settle on him. ] I've never had this with anyone else.
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Is that okay?
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Tipping his head, he presses his lips to Carver's jaw. ]
I want it to be. [ There's an even longer pause. ] How do you feel about a date?
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Doing what?
[ He and Riley used to go out sometimes, but that was a lifetime ago. ]
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I don't know. I never had time to do those things back home. [ Larus looks at him. ] What would you want to do?
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Me and Riley used to go out and play darts, [ he says finally. ] You wanna do that?
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Larus pushes back enough to balance on an elbow and really look at Carver's face, his knuckles gently pressing into the curve of his cheek. They shouldn't be having this conversation, not when they're only agreeing to continue doing this thing between them, but it seems like a natural progression of things. ]
You'll have to show me how to play.
[ Quiet agreement, and he tilts forward to kiss him. ]
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I can do that, [ he agrees softly. ] I’d offer to cook for you, or something, but I don’t think you eat.
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Not anymore. [ But there's appreciation in his tone that Carver would even offer. ] Is that something you like doing?
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[ Not much does these days. ]
And having good food matters when people are starving. I could do that for them.
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Maybe I can try it one day. [ Somehow. If something in this city ever allowed him that. ] Or I could make you tea. I still remember a few things about being alive.
[ Does Carver even drink tea? He doesn't know. ]
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[ He didn't drink it before the world ended but after it was something they scavenged, something novel and good. A break to the momentum when things were rough. He trails his fingers absently over Larus's back, just holding him. Eyes still closed. ]
I'd like that.
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At least the tent hasn't let him burn thus far. ]
If I asked you to stay, would you?
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Yeah.
[ It comes out soft. ]
You gonna be okay in here?
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I have been, [ he answers, his voice equally quiet. ] But it gets warm, and I can't leave.
[ He'd rather not have a repeat of their last encounter so soon. ]
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[ It’s been decided and so that makes it simple. He’s got nowhere else he wants to go, anyway. ]
Do you…rest, or something? Or are you awake the whole time?
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I don't usually sleep. [ His fingertips graze along the edge of Carver's jaw. ] But I could try with you.
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You want me to keep watch?
[ He’d do that for Shaw, for the others. Sleep in shifts so someone was always on guard. ]
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I want you to get some rest. [ He leans in enough, pushing their foreheads together. ] I still smell all that alcohol on you.
[ The taste has faded somewhat, at least. ]
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Yeah, yeah. I can do that.
[ Both of them could use the rest, he thinks. ]
Hey. Thanks, for this.
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What are you thanking me for?
[ There's really nothing to be said for what's passed between them. ]
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[ Maybe it ought to be said. This thing between them still feels inexplicable, and it ought to be stranger than it is. But he’s grateful for it, in the end. ]
That’s all.
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