[ He knows, realistically, that it shouldn't a hard question. People go out all the time. They do this shit even in weird places like Duplicity. And he did this shit once, with Riley. With a couple other people in high school. So just pick something. ]
Me and Riley used to go out and play darts, [ he says finally. ] You wanna do that?
Larus pushes back enough to balance on an elbow and really look at Carver's face, his knuckles gently pressing into the curve of his cheek. They shouldn't be having this conversation, not when they're only agreeing to continue doing this thing between them, but it seems like a natural progression of things. ]
You'll have to show me how to play.
[ Quiet agreement, and he tilts forward to kiss him. ]
[ That gets a faint smile as Carver hums into the kiss, cupping his hand to the back of Larus’s neck. He likes the idea of teaching Larus something new. ]
I can do that, [ he agrees softly. ] I’d offer to cook for you, or something, but I don’t think you eat.
[ There are plenty of things he doesn't know, things he could learn if he took the time, but it had always taken a backburner to the life he'd chosen back home. As always, this is different. All he needs to do is to look ahead, focus on the things that are important here, and Larus leans into him again, content to let the conversation just... happen. ]
Not anymore. [ But there's appreciation in his tone that Carver would even offer. ] Is that something you like doing?
Yeah, [ Carver agrees softly, and closes his eyes. He likes this, he thinks. The closeness. How they can just hold each other sometimes. ] My grandma taught me. I’m good at it. Calms me down.
[ Not much does these days. ]
And having good food matters when people are starving. I could do that for them.
[ Larus is quiet for a moment, taking in the contact and the words. Every little detail that Carver gives him is tucked away, tipping his head to lightly press his mouth to the curve of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. ]
Maybe I can try it one day. [ Somehow. If something in this city ever allowed him that. ] Or I could make you tea. I still remember a few things about being alive.
[ He didn't drink it before the world ended but after it was something they scavenged, something novel and good. A break to the momentum when things were rough. He trails his fingers absently over Larus's back, just holding him. Eyes still closed. ]
[ There's a soft hum in response, something easy and light and agreeable. He's strangely content to stay like this, Carver's arms around him and his face tucked close. Larus shifts to press his forehead against his shoulder, knowing that this moment isn't going to last as soon as the sun comes up.
[ For a moment, Carver doesn’t say anything. He just holds, trailing his fingers over the lines of Larus’s back. Holding him. He doesn’t do this much, with anyone. It doesn’t come easily. ]
[ Carver cracks his eyes, watching Larus. It’s an oddly subdued moment but that’s okay. It’s just what’s happening. And it feels good like this, having another person pressed close. ]
You want me to keep watch?
[ He’d do that for Shaw, for the others. Sleep in shifts so someone was always on guard. ]
[ Carver huffs a little at that, running his fingers through Larus’s hair. It’s a quiet, easy affection. He doesn’t have this with anyone else. ]
[ Maybe it ought to be said. This thing between them still feels inexplicable, and it ought to be stranger than it is. But he’s grateful for it, in the end. ]
[ At least, with Carver, he doesn't feel so alone. There are other people in the city he checks on and speaks to, but this kind of intimacy with this man... there's no one else he has such a thing with. ]
I don't want to be anywhere else.
[ It's something he means, turning just enough to kiss him. Like it solidifies the words somehow. ]
[ Carver closes his eyes again, pressing into the touch. Funny, how easy this feels now. They know each other. He wasn’t expecting that, or how good it feels to kiss Larus back. To hold him. ]
Good.
[ It’s quiet, just like before. There aren’t many people that Carver can sleep next to. But he feels settled right now in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol or the fact they just fucked. He cups a hand to Larus’s cheek, watching him, and just exhales. Okay. ]
[ Things settle, and he wonders about the future. If they'll continue to have this, if things will become so complicated that they won't be able to keep doing whatever it is they do. His thoughts wander as he looks at him, feeling the weight of it in his chest and almost terrified to do much that might break this moment. Pull them back to reality.
But it doesn't. It stays.
Larus stares a while longer before leaning to rest their foreheads together, eyes closed. Maybe it'll make sense eventually. For now, he's going to try not to question it as much as he wants to. ]
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Me and Riley used to go out and play darts, [ he says finally. ] You wanna do that?
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Larus pushes back enough to balance on an elbow and really look at Carver's face, his knuckles gently pressing into the curve of his cheek. They shouldn't be having this conversation, not when they're only agreeing to continue doing this thing between them, but it seems like a natural progression of things. ]
You'll have to show me how to play.
[ Quiet agreement, and he tilts forward to kiss him. ]
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I can do that, [ he agrees softly. ] I’d offer to cook for you, or something, but I don’t think you eat.
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Not anymore. [ But there's appreciation in his tone that Carver would even offer. ] Is that something you like doing?
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[ Not much does these days. ]
And having good food matters when people are starving. I could do that for them.
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Maybe I can try it one day. [ Somehow. If something in this city ever allowed him that. ] Or I could make you tea. I still remember a few things about being alive.
[ Does Carver even drink tea? He doesn't know. ]
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[ He didn't drink it before the world ended but after it was something they scavenged, something novel and good. A break to the momentum when things were rough. He trails his fingers absently over Larus's back, just holding him. Eyes still closed. ]
I'd like that.
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At least the tent hasn't let him burn thus far. ]
If I asked you to stay, would you?
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Yeah.
[ It comes out soft. ]
You gonna be okay in here?
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I have been, [ he answers, his voice equally quiet. ] But it gets warm, and I can't leave.
[ He'd rather not have a repeat of their last encounter so soon. ]
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[ It’s been decided and so that makes it simple. He’s got nowhere else he wants to go, anyway. ]
Do you…rest, or something? Or are you awake the whole time?
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I don't usually sleep. [ His fingertips graze along the edge of Carver's jaw. ] But I could try with you.
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You want me to keep watch?
[ He’d do that for Shaw, for the others. Sleep in shifts so someone was always on guard. ]
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I want you to get some rest. [ He leans in enough, pushing their foreheads together. ] I still smell all that alcohol on you.
[ The taste has faded somewhat, at least. ]
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Yeah, yeah. I can do that.
[ Both of them could use the rest, he thinks. ]
Hey. Thanks, for this.
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What are you thanking me for?
[ There's really nothing to be said for what's passed between them. ]
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[ Maybe it ought to be said. This thing between them still feels inexplicable, and it ought to be stranger than it is. But he’s grateful for it, in the end. ]
That’s all.
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I don't want to be anywhere else.
[ It's something he means, turning just enough to kiss him. Like it solidifies the words somehow. ]
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Good.
[ It’s quiet, just like before. There aren’t many people that Carver can sleep next to. But he feels settled right now in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol or the fact they just fucked. He cups a hand to Larus’s cheek, watching him, and just exhales. Okay. ]
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But it doesn't. It stays.
Larus stares a while longer before leaning to rest their foreheads together, eyes closed. Maybe it'll make sense eventually. For now, he's going to try not to question it as much as he wants to. ]