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[mislay]

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misfire text; un: BigDickEnergy

[anthropomorphize]

I really need you not to touch the raw meat in the fridge. I'm saving it for someone.

[mislay]

[ he almost immediately deletes this because of the username. who now? ]

why would i care about the raw meat in your fridge??

[anthropomorphize]

[ better check the picture, Larus. Let him just go ahead and think he's texting nancy ]

I like to think of it as our fridge.
But like I said, I'm saving it.

[mislay]

[ honestly, he's more curious about this than checking the attached pic right now. ]

then if it's our fridge, i think you should tell me why.

[anthropomorphize]

Vivian prefers it.

[ obviously. ]

[mislay]

i don't think you told me about vivian.

[ obviously. ]

[anthropomorphize]

You've met her!
Loud, bossy, affectionate. She comes in through the window most of the time?

[mislay]

[ he has not, in fact, met vivian. he still doesn't know who this is. ]

whatever you think, i'm really not interested in the food for your new pet.
so don't worry. i'll leave it alone.

[anthropomorphize]

If Vivian hears you calling her a pet I'm not going to be held responsible for what happens to your face.

but also thank you. You going to be around the apartment tonight?

[mislay]

[ so vivian is a person? in all fairness, larus shouldn't care this much. he really should check who he's texting too, but he's decided not to yet. ]

it really depends on what you're doing.
are you going to be spending time with vivian?

[anthropomorphize]

I mean if she stops by. I don’t control her schedule. But I did promise her the raw meat so—-probably likely?

[mislay]

then i can't say there's a reason i need to stay around.

[anthropomorphize]

you can help, if you’d want. Two hands are better than one, right?

[mislay]

help with what?

[ he really should check who he's texting before he agrees to something he won't do. ]

[anthropomorphize]

Entertainment? Preening? Feeding?
We’ve got options.

[mislay]

i'm not really interested in any of those options.
vivian will understand, i'm sure.

[anthropomorphize]

I'm going to let her steal all the feathers from your pillows.

[mislay]

[ at this point, he knows this person thinks he's someone else, and by the time he looks at the bio pic, he should have realized. ]

it's a good thing i don't really have a need for pillows.

[anthropomorphize]

[ what does that mean, Larus?? ]

wait, what? You love pillows.

[mislay]

[ it means absolutely NOTHING. ]

i don't. not really.
and you've been texting someone else for a while now. who do you think this is?

[anthropomorphize]

...please tell me this is Nancy

[mislay]

[ Poor Nancy. ]

it's larus.

[anthropomorphize]

[ noooooo. ]

...

[mislay]

was all of this supposed to be a secret?

[anthropomorphize]

Kind of? Vivian is--
she works with someone
in charge of dreams
didn't seem like the kind of thing I should pass around?