[ It matters because they hurt you. But he doesn't voice that thought, knowing he'll find them regardless because this is something he can't ignore. He's already working on how to find this person when Carver pulls him back to the moment with the way their heads gently knock together. ]
I'm here. [ Because what else can he say? ] Have you slept? Eaten?
[ His hand comes up to rest against the side of Carver's neck like a simple touch will tell him all he needs to know. ]
[ Yeah. He's here, and Carver's still alive, and that's enough for now. That's a start. Things settle. Carver closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Holds it for four even as he presses into the touch. He's hurting, still, but he isn't dead.
[ It's never enough with them, but Larus finds that it's easier to care about someone else rather than himself. ]
I'm fine. [ Which is a vague reply at best. ] We should get off the street. I'm not in the mood to kill anyone right now.
[ Because he would, and if he's honest, he has for less. But things like this, with Carver, are completely different, and he leans into him for a moment, soaking up the contact and allowing himself to drown in the sound of his breathing and his heartbeat. He's alive. He wished that was all that mattered. ]
You'd give me shit for saying that, [ Carver points out softly. But they'll just go in angry circles attacking that point, so he doesn't. He just reaches out to squeeze Larus's arm, and then exhales again. ]
Still, he thinks he's more capable of defending both of them if it came down to it, staring at Carver's face for a moment before he also sighs and moves with him. ]
[ As they move, he takes in their surroundings and sticks close to Carver. He still wants to know who had hurt him and maybe why, but they don't usually talk about those things. They don't really talk about much these days. It's a blind spot, and logically, he knows that.
But he hasn't been thinking clearly for a while. ]
How long do we have?
[ He wonders if Carver has anywhere else to be after this. ]
[ His expression thins for a moment, trying to take in everything he says and everything he doesn't. And maybe it's impulsive, stopping Carver with a gentle pull of his hand before pushing into his personal space and curling an arm around him. ]
It never feels long enough.
[ His words are soft, leaning in to kiss him and uncaring that someone might see them. ]
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I'm here. [ Because what else can he say? ] Have you slept? Eaten?
[ His hand comes up to rest against the side of Carver's neck like a simple touch will tell him all he needs to know. ]
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That's good enough. ]
Some.
[ Not much. So it goes. ]
Have you?
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I'm fine. [ Which is a vague reply at best. ] We should get off the street. I'm not in the mood to kill anyone right now.
[ Because he would, and if he's honest, he has for less. But things like this, with Carver, are completely different, and he leans into him for a moment, soaking up the contact and allowing himself to drown in the sound of his breathing and his heartbeat. He's alive. He wished that was all that mattered. ]
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C'mon. Let's go somewhere.
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Still, he thinks he's more capable of defending both of them if it came down to it, staring at Carver's face for a moment before he also sighs and moves with him. ]
Is there anywhere you want to go?
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[ It's safe for a few hours, at least. ]
It's not far. We could go there. Or - wherever you want.
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Show me where.
[ He'll follow him but stay close, clearly interested in watching him and being within arm's reach. ]
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[ He inclines his head slightly. ]
This way.
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But he hasn't been thinking clearly for a while. ]
How long do we have?
[ He wonders if Carver has anywhere else to be after this. ]
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[ Itโs a melancholy thing to realize, now. He meets Larusโs eyes. ]
So, as long as you want.
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It never feels long enough.
[ His words are soft, leaning in to kiss him and uncaring that someone might see them. ]