[ it feels like a dismissal, which is fine. he hadn't expected much to come from it, and conversations like this aren't something he's comfortable with, especially since he still has complicated feelings for someone who's not even in duplicity. not that larus' feelings for dorian center too far towards the side of romantic. he thinks. there's just something there he enjoys when they're not stumbling over things like this. ]
I don't know what other way we'd be.
[ which is his way of ending this particular talk, grabbing dorian's hand and giving it a tug to draw him back into a more lax position with him on the bed. if he doesn't come easily, larus is just going to press a kiss to the pulse in his wrist. ]
We didn't come in here to discuss any of that anyway.
[It's somewhat unexpected that everything's being let go of as quickly as it came up, but it suits Dorian's general, and selfish disinclination to talk that strays close to something like starting to define where it is that he fits in another person's life, and vice versa. Definition is limiting, and he's not ready to believe that it's possible for it to happen without there being some kind of expectation, spoken or unspoken, formal or informal, that far behind. He's enjoying what he has with Larus and interested in taking it further. For him that feels like enough for the time being.
There may be some recovery to be done now, and as they flop back down into the bed again, Dorian's gaze roams over Larus' profile to look for the need for it. Not noticing anything immediate, he props himself up on his side beside the vampire to look down into the other man's face.]
D'you want to know what I think? [he asks rhetorically.] You just spent eight days in a room with nothing but a painting [that was probably dying to whisper terrible nothings to Larus, but couldn't because of the display case it's in, thankfully] and your own thoughts. We owe it to try and put some more pleasant thoughts in this head of yours.
[ in those few seconds that it takes for dorian to lean up over him, larus closes his eyes. not in relief, exactly, but there's something much nicer about laying in this bed as opposed to the floor that he's taking a moment to soak up, already wanting to put the past several days behind him and forget it ever happened. he knows that once he steps outside of this suite, he won't be able to. he'll wander back to the areas he met those people and killed them, think about reaching out to the ones he didn't. the tip of his tongue presses against the edge of a fang, and there's a brief swell of self-loathing that he swallows down.
dorian's voice draws him away from it, gaze settling on the other man's face in equal measure.
he's come to find comfort in looking at him, in being with him and thinking about him. regardless of the few uncomfortable situations they've experienced together, dorian is safety and trust. larus doesn't need to try as hard as he normally does to be proactive in keeping his guard up constantly, but it's still, as always, a work-in-progress. it's years of habit that he can't just shut off, though he does lift a hand to brush his knuckles along the curve of his cheek. ]
[He turns his head slightly into that touch, and then shifts so he can more comfortably look down into Larus' face.]
Let me please you, in this case. [And himself in the process.
There's no particular urgency in the offer, but he does reach out to lay a hand on Larus' chest, fingers running over the smoothness of clean fabric. The swell of the muscles there. It feels good. Like a connection, and the kind he prefers.]
We could take our time [Which doesn't imply gentleness or roughness specifically, but whatever suits the mood. Rather than an impatient desire to take, in this moment and after everything they've both gone through, Dorian would rather be with Larus. That could mean any number of things when he still knows very little about the vampire's preferences. The finding out would be very enjoyable for him.] and then finish up with a good rinsing off.
[A bath would be pleasant too, but that would involve preparing it exactly the way it's good, and the amount of effort involved is a less appealing prospect right now.]
the touch to his chest casts his thoughts elsewhere almost immediately, centering on dorian's heartbeat and the warmth of him so close. it's an oddly overwhelming sensation now that he thinks about it, after being cut off from anything kind for such a short amount of time, and it's yet another reminder of just how quickly he's come to adapt to such things. their casualness, their routine. the intimacy between them when it's there. (if he was asked to be perfectly honest in that moment, larus would have told dorian that all he needed was to rest his head against him and listen to him breathe for hours.) ]
I can do that.
[ said simply, almost sweetly, and his features smooth into a somewhat fond expression before he pushes up to find his mouth. the kiss is slow and easy, tasting him until it's important to allow dorian to breathe. then, larus is drawing him close in a way that equally implies a sort of lazy welcome to the idea of taking their time. he'd wanted to do that very first time they'd been together in this bed, but things are somewhat different between them than they had been then. there's no real urgency right now either, and larus mouths dorian's name into his skin as he touches lips to his jaw, fingertips caressing along his shoulder and down his arm. ]
[The response is a little unclear in terms of personal investment, and Dorian is about to ask, but then Larus is opening up to him and breathing his name against his flesh. It's something he likes hearing in a moment like this, and it convinces him and pulls his focus back in. He sinks into their kissing, parting his lips, encouraging a deeper exploration and tasting the other man until the lack of air is tugging at his lungs.
Lips against his jaw are close enough to the sensitive spot of his neck that he shifts, offering himself to a furthering of lips, tongue, teeth, whatever Larus might be inspired to grace this part of his body with. It's a touchier place since their first time together, but they've built trust and affection since then. He's not worried, and he wants it.
His own hands caress and smooth with more intent --his desire for and attraction to the other man aren't subtle, and aren't ever going to be-- but it's still slow-going. He's enjoying it, appreciating the alternating hardness and softness of the ridges of the vampire's rib cage, his lightly-muscled form, and then the softness just below the hem of Larus' shirt as he passes his hands beneath it to help himself to smooth, chill skin.]
[ perhaps it's the string of events that have led them here, but larus is more responsive than he'd usually be with such affections. there's a craving there, following the tip of dorian's head and letting his lips find the delicate areas of his neck before his tongue traces the same path. for now, he keeps his teeth where they should be, only gently scraping them along skin when there's a rush of excitement from the sudden warmth of fingers over his belly.
larus leans into it unconsciously, encouraging more of whatever it is dorian will give him as they explore one another without haste, and he pauses with his face tucked into that spot between neck and shoulder, soaking up the contact as he listens to the steady pulse that echoes around him before moving again. he skirts a hand along dorian's side, slipping it between them to begin the arduous task of unbuttoning his shirt. but with each freed fastening, larus kisses along his throat towards his mouth. because he can, because he wants to.
the kiss, this time, is filled with unspoken thanks, gratitude for the things dorian's done for him and everything in between. it whispers of the devotion he could give him, the eagerness of being with him. it begs for understanding just as much as his longing burns through him. all of it his body says without voicing it loudly, needing more than what he knows how to ask for. ]
[Chill breath and a tongue sliding up his neck mean a shiver is pulling its way through Dorian's core, culminating in a corresponding tightening in his torso. It makes, for a flicker of a moment that throws even him off, the idea of having that softness and passion there turn into the sharp press of fangs tempting. The notion of sharing that connection with someone else he cares for and wants to give himself to, when the only person he's ever wanted it from is completely gone. The craving is forbidden now as it is deep, and it's a precarious thought to have slip in without any prompting. Less dangerous for what it could do to him bodily, and more for how much it would mean to let down that particular wall around his heart.
If it could ever happen to begin with.
He's freed from all related thoughts, though, by the pulling of fingers at his shirt and the return of lips against his own. There are emotions and needs in the kiss this time that Dorian can't quite place, but the sweetness and passion of the gesture are evident. He wants it, returning it in his own way by shifting his hands to draw at the vampire's shirt in turn, waiting for the pauses for his own breath that are becoming a pattern to pull it up, and then out of the way.
Dorian helps with the last of the fashionable (arduous) amount of buttons on his own shirt, shrugging out of it slowly with something like relief. And then he stops, and gives himself a moment to bask in the sight of Larus stretched out beneath him. His fingers drop to run along the length of his torso, enjoying the smoothness and intimate contact there now that any offending fabric is out of the way.]
What do you want right now? [It doesn't matter what it is, but it would be an unbridled pleasure to get any reply when it felt like there were words lurking beneath the surface of their last kiss.]
[ it's an easy question to answer, but abruptly, for some unknown reason, it's strangely overwhelming. ]
I want —
[ what does he want? does it have anything to do with what he needs? there are a number of things he could list off that wouldn't really be anything significant, and most of all, larus' initial response to a question like that is almost always 'nothing'. he wants nothing. he needs nothing. he's purposely limited himself to it; regardless of the outcome of a situation, he's not setting himself up for disappointment by not wanting anything. it's the same sort of expectation he'd set for himself when they'd contracted, only giving one term and one term only. now, it's a mess, and his thoughts drift back to that room, how he's determined to never set foot inside it ever again—even if dorian encourages him to.
but that doesn't answer the question, does it? larus looks up at him, lost in so many thoughts and trying to narrow it down to one. a response, something that would satisfy them both in some way. as always, it's honesty he reaches for, and it's a quiet admittance that pulls his own heart in a thousand different directions. ]
You. I want you. [ but it's more than just a physical connection, which is easy. he can detach himself from it if he chooses, a mechanism to survive in a world that requires it. his palm presses against dorian's chest, fingertips pressing into skin. ] I want to feel you, and I want to taste you. I just want to be with you.
[ right there, in that moment. this present of theirs and not the past or whatever future might unfurl before them. ]
[Dorian hadn't had expectations of Larus, but the reply that comes is almost inordinately impactful. What does it mean?
He knows what it means. And for once with this particular man, he doesn't feel any need to seek clarification. This kind of understanding between them is significant, and he thinks it's because he's hearing a complete and unfiltered truth-- not that Larus ever lies to him, but he's noticed that his words are usually buried under layers upon layers of thought and considered decision-making. It's not lying. It's guarded.
This isn't, and it's a trust he wants to return. There are a hundred different ways he could respond to the admission that he thinks would satisfy the both of them on many levels, but for something like this, something else is called for.
Dorian bends back down to press himself against Larus, his hand curving around the back of the vampire's neck to tip his head for a deep kiss. He's already determined to take a leap, and that sudden reckless decisiveness is present in the purposeful press of his lips.]
Then there's something I want you to know. [Dorian kisses him again, this time ending it with a small scrape of teeth against a lower lip that's a little sharp, only to pull any and all wandering attention and thoughts completely onto himself and his words. He draws enough away to murmur,]
I'm immortal. [He webs fingers over the top of Larus' chest.] The picture in that room is of me, and it's taken my wounds and follies for over 160 years.
[ the kiss would have been enough. larus would have been satisfied with that, would have been glad to forego words and roll them over to press the shape of his mouth into dorian's perfect skin. but what doesn't come after that bite to his lip is more of the same, effectively drawing his focus to dorian and the words that leave him. and the surprise larus feels has nothing to do with such a revelation or how much everything now seems to make sense. the way he'd healed after he'd cut himself, how he'd told larus they were both a kind of 'other'. whatever protections he's placed on that room and the way he'd been trapped inside.
dorian's immortal, but more than that, it partly explains some of the things he's done and said since he's known him. ]
Why are you telling me this now? [ his touch drifts to the shell of dorian's ear, fingertips lightly teasing at the curl of dark hair that falls there. ] It doesn't change what I said or what I want.
[ there's nothing hypocritical or demanding in his tone, the words even but slightly curious. his eyes never leave dorian's either, looking at him as though he can search out some further truth from his admission. what has he seen in all that time? what has he done? larus can't imagine it, even though he's known others to have lived longer than naturally possible. sun, for one, but he certainly doesn't want to think about him right now and forces himself not to. ]
[That's an unexpected reaction (but when are they ever?) and not one he's ever received from the vanishingly small handful of people he's ever intentionally revealed this information to. Plenty of people are privy to it thanks to Oscar's novel, but only a few know that it's real.
Dorian's immediately a little annoyed by the perceived slight to his vanity.]
You were being giving with me. [Or that's how it came off. Open, giving, emotionally revealing.] I was returning the favor.
[ he can tell it presses some sort of internal button dorian has about this, which is why he continues to play with his hair as he looks at him. larus strokes his fingers over his cheek and down the side of his neck, contemplating an answer as he does. ]
I know. I didn't imply I wasn't grateful for it. [ he's learning this to be something about dorian to anticipate. ] You're still the same person I said those things to.
[ and he still means them because nothing could change that. not after the crazed parts of him dorian has seen, not after knowing more than some people ever will. there's an intimacy to that, a certain sort of trust, and though he suspects there's also an equal sort of darkness in dorian, it doesn't bother him. it doesn't scare him or entice him. it simply is, and that's how larus believes it should be. ]
[The gentle petting of fingers in his hair and down the column of his neck sooth at Dorian's annoyance, and his gaze travels between Larus' hand and the other man's face for a moment as he sits with what he's hearing. He's unfazed. Probably not something that should surprise him in retrospect, but it's a reaction he's never received in response to someone finding out about his final secret. Part of him is oddly and unexpectedly relieved, even as the wounds to his pride and self-concept of exaggerated uniqueness linger.
It's... not a big deal. It doesn't make him any different than what he was before in the vampire's eyes. He's not sure how that could be remotely possible, especially given that he's just admitted his own ongoing deception between them, but somehow it is.
But the longer they stall in the moment, still pressed together and with Larus' hands on him, the more his irritation leeches away.]
So you just... want to go back to what we were doing?
[It's still bizarre to him how little impact his secret seems to have made. It's going to take him a few moments to catch up to Larus again.]
[ larus will want time to think about all of this later, as he usually does, including the last eight days that have transpired between them, but for now, it doesn't matter. none of that matters. he will give more to dorian if he asks it of him, if he knows how to give it, and that's a far more terrifying thought to have than the secret he's kept from him since they'd first met. it's also something larus isn't going to linger on, settling his hand against a bare shoulder and shifting just a little to lean into the weight of the body partially pinning his to the bed. ]
You said you wanted to please me, [ he reminds him, though it borders on the softest kind of tease. there's no doubt dorian had factored himself into that equation as well. ] We can do whatever you feel like doing. Being with you, either way, is enough.
[ so, they can talk or kiss or do both. larus could hold him and drown in the sound of his heartbeat right next to him rather than from rooms away. he's indifferent to it because all he wants – all he's wanted since he'd become himself again – is to connect to someone he cares about in any way possible. ]
[That response, complete with its callback and gentle ribbing, almost makes Dorian chuckle. He does smile though, both endeared and amused, a hand coming out reflexively to rest on Larus' chest again. This is helpful in bringing him back into the moment, rather than staying waylaid by his own bafflement. His fingers gently trail blunt, manicured nails down the vampire's side, the smoothness and chill of his skin effective in reminding him why they're here.]
Are you tired? [A small, thoughtful tap to Larus' side.] We could have sex-- with the proper preparation this time. [That feels worth mentioning.]
[ even those small touches are welcome, the warmth like a fire that wants to bury its way beneath his skin. ]
I should be asking you that. [ since dorian had been the one half-asleep on the loveseat not too long ago. ] But I'm not tired.
[ which might as well be larus' agreement to the suggestion, having wanted to be close to dorian in whatever way he could anyhow, and he reaches for dorian's hand, bringing his wrist to his mouth so he can press a kiss to his skin. it lingers, gently scraping his teeth along the flesh of his forearm before tugging him along as he rolls them over. braced on top of him, larus leans down to kiss him on the mouth. soft, sweet, tender. ]
Undress for me. I'll be right back. [ because he's going to get the lube before anything else happens. ]
[The juxtaposition of that little scrape of fangs and then the soft, sweet kiss the other man presses to his lips while they're turned over is interesting and enticing. Dorian kisses him back, smiles, and then shifts to prop himself up when the other man moves away.
Unexpectedly, the request to undress brings him jarringly back to the moment when Larus had demanded the same thing from him outside the portrait room. Dorian frowns at the unwelcome memory as the other man turns and leaves, and then doesn't hesitate to push the little flash of unpleasantness from his thoughts. He hasn't had time since Larus returned to himself to wonder about his personality change, and how much of it was or wasn't actually his vampire nature in some sense. It's not something he wants to think about now, especially when something much more pleasant is at hand.
He dismisses any related notions completely with a push of a hand through his hair, and then goes about unfastening and shifting his way out of form-fitting pants.]
Lucky for us this place is stocked for an orgy. [Stretched out luxuriously, he gestures when Larus comes back. Now that there's nothing else in the way, he wants to get his hands on the other man and get rid of the remaining fabric separating his skin from being touched.]
[ it doesn't take him particularly long to find what he needs, though he does question whether or not flavor matters. he'll have to ask next time when things aren't progressing the way they are, stopping just short of the bed to take in the man resting there. beautiful, of course, and it's right on the tip of his tongue to say it. but he doesn't.
instead, he drops the lube just within reach of either of them on the mattress. ]
If you're planning to have one, tell me so I know not to be here for it.
[ the comment is equal parts ridiculously deadpan and genuine, not so much distaste in the words as there is acceptance. if it's what dorian wants, he isn't going to dissuade him from it. they share this space as well as other things; he doesn't need to share in the taste of a bunch of writhing bodies and the smell of sex in the air.
but the idea of it is gone just as quickly when he slips out of his pants and climbs into the bed to join him—just as naked, hardly shy. there's a brief reminder that his hair is slightly damp when he leans down to kiss him, the scent of soap that makes him think of dorian and casimir both obvious when he lingers on it. there is more to enjoy than that though, straddled casually atop dorian's thighs as he looks at him thoughtfully. ]
I thought you would have only kept the ones you like by now. [ he's talking about the lube again. ]
[Never practical in anything but cases of personal danger and reducing (undesirable) pain from sex, Dorian reaches for the lube when it hits the bed. He gives it a once-over, ultimately glad that's it's the unscented kind, and then pops the cap before setting it aside on the bedside table.]
As long as it's not the kind that's supposed to 'tingle', I couldn't care less. [With an extra note of gravelly distaste, he adds:] Never does anything but burn.
[He quirks a smile up at Larus though and, in contrast to the other man's tight-lipped appraisal, smooths desirous hands up soft and shapely thighs as the vampire comes close. Dorian draws him closer and more fully against him, leaning in to kiss up the center of his chest. He's very interested in what's being offered-- but not like this, this time.]
Prop yourself against the headboard however you're comfortable. [Another velvet press of lips, this time to a peak of Larus' collarbone.] I'll take everything from there.
[ a comment like that almost causes him to smile. almost. ]
I'm sure someone enjoys it.
[ which is just a passing response as he settles into the way dorian pulls him down, and before he moves, larus dips his head enough to to catch the side of the other's mouth in a grazing kiss. then, he's sliding off of him to do as he says, moving some of the pillows out of the way to make room. normally, larus would have been content to just sit straight against the headboard, but he doesn't think that's conducive to their current activity. so, he chooses one to lean into and watches dorian the entire time with piqued interest. ]
Is that all you want me to do?
[ he's not used to it. or, at the very least, not used to helping in some way, keeping his hands resting rather lax on his thighs. but more than that, there's that thought again creeping into his head, the one that's beckoning larus to tell dorian how attractive he is. like before, though, he quells it almost immediately. now isn't the time for it, usually preferring to show his appreciation in other ways. ]
[Dorian looks up as he's turning around to move close again. Larus doesn't like to feel like he's not contributing, he supposes.]
I'm pleased for whatever you want to add, but I've never thought of the preparation part as a two-man job.
[Not that they're quite there yet. He's already had the pleasure of sex with Larus once and, especially after the trying week they've spent functionally separated, he's more interested in building things up between them again first. If there's any rush, it's to get back to where they were before they stumbled after Larus' sort-of confession. Dorian does re-cap the lube and bring it closer to them, but it's for the sake of it being within reach when things heat up and they need it.
He comes closer, encouraging the vampire to part his legs with a touch to the top of his thigh, and then pressing himself up against Larus. A slow rocking of his hips against the other man's is decadent, and then Dorian reaches out to curve a hand around the back of Larus' neck to draw him into a deep, and lingering kiss. He pulls in a solid breath when they finally part, his expression focused under the veil of the warm darkness of the room.]
[ Oh. That makes a little more sense, even if he hadn't quite thought about it in that way.
Larus doesn't even mind it really, focusing on nothing but Dorian as he moves closer and rests between his thighs. It helps him ease into a slightly better position to accommodate him, picking up on the slight increase of that heartbeat when that kiss ends and he feels the rush of Dorian's breath between them. This is something he thinks he enjoys without any irony to it: kissing him. He can feel so many different things, experience several sensations of life in the press of his body and the taste of his mouth. Before Larus says anything else, he presses forward to draw him back in—deep, the slide of his tongue over Dorian's and briefly across his teeth. Savoring, longing for more.
He offers a soft hum in response and nothing else, running his hands along Dorian's back and down to his hips. It's good just to feel him, to remember that he's not anywhere else but right there surrounded by warm skin, and Larus repays that notion with the slightest lift of his hips, slowly curling a foot around one of Dorian's calves for leverage so he can press back against him. A lazy sort of grind, one that conveys he's already a little hard. And when his fingers sweep up to sink into dark hair, he urges him close for another kiss that he takes extra time to explore. Like he's memorizing every nuance of it for no reason other than he wants to. ]
[This is why Dorian prefers sex with a partner to anything he might do by himself. Feeling the slow uptick of desire in the way Larus tastes him and in the pressing of his hips is something he craves, and that he enjoys being the source of. His hands pass over the chill, but slowly-warming flesh beneath him in turn, appreciating Larus' shape, and folding limbs further apart with touches to his inner thighs to fit himself against the vampire more comfortably.
He'd love to progress to fucking him from this point, but he did make a promise of sorts. One that won't work the way he wants unless he waits for the right moment.
To that end, Dorian ends their most recent kiss with a more purposeful slip of teeth over Larus' bottom lip. His gaze flicks to meet the other man's briefly, and then he shifts to start pressing more purposeful, open-mouthed kisses down the column of his throat instead, a hand gripping Larus' inner thigh shifting to wrap warm fingers around his cock instead. He won't do much here, but he does give him a heady squeeze, craving the feeling of him filling and stiffening in his hand. Once he's started to unravel, that's when he'll move on.]
[ It's a different sort of pleasure that comes from the slow purposefulness of Dorian's mouth and the heat of his hands as they touch him. There's no real rush to it, even if Larus wouldn't have minded if there had been. The first time had been like that, exploring touches and the excitement of something new. Even the second time, when he'd committed to fully giving himself to Dorian, there'd been a sort of haste to it that isn't really present now, tipping his head back to accommodate the slide of those kisses and stare at the indistinct shape of the ceiling as he focuses on Dorian's heartbeat. Steady, strong. Just a little faster when fingers curl around him and squeeze.
Larus gives an instinctive shift of his hips, wanting more but not enough to ask for it. That, too, isn't the same as before, thinking back to the way he'd spread his legs and nearly begged. Just for the closeness, a connection that he continues to crave from the man resting over him. Which is probably why he doesn't fight any of it now, exhaling a purposeful breath as he lets his hands stroke over the smooth skin of Dorian's sides. He trails them over his ribs, down to his hips and lightly digs his fingertips in when he's completely hard against him. There's always a lot of sensation with sex, too many variables that make it impossible to focus on one thing for very long, and when he says his name, it's muted but questioning.
Because he doesn't have to tease him, even if that might be what he's doing. It just has Larus idly running his hands up Dorian's back and sinking them into his hair where the urge to lightly pull grows until he can't resist it any longer. ]
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no subject
I don't know what other way we'd be.
[ which is his way of ending this particular talk, grabbing dorian's hand and giving it a tug to draw him back into a more lax position with him on the bed. if he doesn't come easily, larus is just going to press a kiss to the pulse in his wrist. ]
We didn't come in here to discuss any of that anyway.
no subject
There may be some recovery to be done now, and as they flop back down into the bed again, Dorian's gaze roams over Larus' profile to look for the need for it. Not noticing anything immediate, he props himself up on his side beside the vampire to look down into the other man's face.]
D'you want to know what I think? [he asks rhetorically.] You just spent eight days in a room with nothing but a painting [that was probably dying to whisper terrible nothings to Larus, but couldn't because of the display case it's in, thankfully] and your own thoughts. We owe it to try and put some more pleasant thoughts in this head of yours.
no subject
dorian's voice draws him away from it, gaze settling on the other man's face in equal measure.
he's come to find comfort in looking at him, in being with him and thinking about him. regardless of the few uncomfortable situations they've experienced together, dorian is safety and trust. larus doesn't need to try as hard as he normally does to be proactive in keeping his guard up constantly, but it's still, as always, a work-in-progress. it's years of habit that he can't just shut off, though he does lift a hand to brush his knuckles along the curve of his cheek. ]
What do you suggest?
no subject
Let me please you, in this case. [And himself in the process.
There's no particular urgency in the offer, but he does reach out to lay a hand on Larus' chest, fingers running over the smoothness of clean fabric. The swell of the muscles there. It feels good. Like a connection, and the kind he prefers.]
We could take our time [Which doesn't imply gentleness or roughness specifically, but whatever suits the mood. Rather than an impatient desire to take, in this moment and after everything they've both gone through, Dorian would rather be with Larus. That could mean any number of things when he still knows very little about the vampire's preferences. The finding out would be very enjoyable for him.] and then finish up with a good rinsing off.
[A bath would be pleasant too, but that would involve preparing it exactly the way it's good, and the amount of effort involved is a less appealing prospect right now.]
no subject
the touch to his chest casts his thoughts elsewhere almost immediately, centering on dorian's heartbeat and the warmth of him so close. it's an oddly overwhelming sensation now that he thinks about it, after being cut off from anything kind for such a short amount of time, and it's yet another reminder of just how quickly he's come to adapt to such things. their casualness, their routine. the intimacy between them when it's there. (if he was asked to be perfectly honest in that moment, larus would have told dorian that all he needed was to rest his head against him and listen to him breathe for hours.) ]
I can do that.
[ said simply, almost sweetly, and his features smooth into a somewhat fond expression before he pushes up to find his mouth. the kiss is slow and easy, tasting him until it's important to allow dorian to breathe. then, larus is drawing him close in a way that equally implies a sort of lazy welcome to the idea of taking their time. he'd wanted to do that very first time they'd been together in this bed, but things are somewhat different between them than they had been then. there's no real urgency right now either, and larus mouths dorian's name into his skin as he touches lips to his jaw, fingertips caressing along his shoulder and down his arm. ]
no subject
Lips against his jaw are close enough to the sensitive spot of his neck that he shifts, offering himself to a furthering of lips, tongue, teeth, whatever Larus might be inspired to grace this part of his body with. It's a touchier place since their first time together, but they've built trust and affection since then. He's not worried, and he wants it.
His own hands caress and smooth with more intent --his desire for and attraction to the other man aren't subtle, and aren't ever going to be-- but it's still slow-going. He's enjoying it, appreciating the alternating hardness and softness of the ridges of the vampire's rib cage, his lightly-muscled form, and then the softness just below the hem of Larus' shirt as he passes his hands beneath it to help himself to smooth, chill skin.]
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larus leans into it unconsciously, encouraging more of whatever it is dorian will give him as they explore one another without haste, and he pauses with his face tucked into that spot between neck and shoulder, soaking up the contact as he listens to the steady pulse that echoes around him before moving again. he skirts a hand along dorian's side, slipping it between them to begin the arduous task of unbuttoning his shirt. but with each freed fastening, larus kisses along his throat towards his mouth. because he can, because he wants to.
the kiss, this time, is filled with unspoken thanks, gratitude for the things dorian's done for him and everything in between. it whispers of the devotion he could give him, the eagerness of being with him. it begs for understanding just as much as his longing burns through him. all of it his body says without voicing it loudly, needing more than what he knows how to ask for. ]
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If it could ever happen to begin with.
He's freed from all related thoughts, though, by the pulling of fingers at his shirt and the return of lips against his own. There are emotions and needs in the kiss this time that Dorian can't quite place, but the sweetness and passion of the gesture are evident. He wants it, returning it in his own way by shifting his hands to draw at the vampire's shirt in turn, waiting for the pauses for his own breath that are becoming a pattern to pull it up, and then out of the way.
Dorian helps with the last of the fashionable (arduous) amount of buttons on his own shirt, shrugging out of it slowly with something like relief. And then he stops, and gives himself a moment to bask in the sight of Larus stretched out beneath him. His fingers drop to run along the length of his torso, enjoying the smoothness and intimate contact there now that any offending fabric is out of the way.]
What do you want right now? [It doesn't matter what it is, but it would be an unbridled pleasure to get any reply when it felt like there were words lurking beneath the surface of their last kiss.]
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I want —
[ what does he want? does it have anything to do with what he needs? there are a number of things he could list off that wouldn't really be anything significant, and most of all, larus' initial response to a question like that is almost always 'nothing'. he wants nothing. he needs nothing. he's purposely limited himself to it; regardless of the outcome of a situation, he's not setting himself up for disappointment by not wanting anything. it's the same sort of expectation he'd set for himself when they'd contracted, only giving one term and one term only. now, it's a mess, and his thoughts drift back to that room, how he's determined to never set foot inside it ever again—even if dorian encourages him to.
but that doesn't answer the question, does it? larus looks up at him, lost in so many thoughts and trying to narrow it down to one. a response, something that would satisfy them both in some way. as always, it's honesty he reaches for, and it's a quiet admittance that pulls his own heart in a thousand different directions. ]
You. I want you. [ but it's more than just a physical connection, which is easy. he can detach himself from it if he chooses, a mechanism to survive in a world that requires it. his palm presses against dorian's chest, fingertips pressing into skin. ] I want to feel you, and I want to taste you. I just want to be with you.
[ right there, in that moment. this present of theirs and not the past or whatever future might unfurl before them. ]
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He knows what it means. And for once with this particular man, he doesn't feel any need to seek clarification. This kind of understanding between them is significant, and he thinks it's because he's hearing a complete and unfiltered truth-- not that Larus ever lies to him, but he's noticed that his words are usually buried under layers upon layers of thought and considered decision-making. It's not lying. It's guarded.
This isn't, and it's a trust he wants to return. There are a hundred different ways he could respond to the admission that he thinks would satisfy the both of them on many levels, but for something like this, something else is called for.
Dorian bends back down to press himself against Larus, his hand curving around the back of the vampire's neck to tip his head for a deep kiss. He's already determined to take a leap, and that sudden reckless decisiveness is present in the purposeful press of his lips.]
Then there's something I want you to know. [Dorian kisses him again, this time ending it with a small scrape of teeth against a lower lip that's a little sharp, only to pull any and all wandering attention and thoughts completely onto himself and his words. He draws enough away to murmur,]
I'm immortal. [He webs fingers over the top of Larus' chest.] The picture in that room is of me, and it's taken my wounds and follies for over 160 years.
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dorian's immortal, but more than that, it partly explains some of the things he's done and said since he's known him. ]
Why are you telling me this now? [ his touch drifts to the shell of dorian's ear, fingertips lightly teasing at the curl of dark hair that falls there. ] It doesn't change what I said or what I want.
[ there's nothing hypocritical or demanding in his tone, the words even but slightly curious. his eyes never leave dorian's either, looking at him as though he can search out some further truth from his admission. what has he seen in all that time? what has he done? larus can't imagine it, even though he's known others to have lived longer than naturally possible. sun, for one, but he certainly doesn't want to think about him right now and forces himself not to. ]
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Dorian's immediately a little annoyed by the perceived slight to his vanity.]
You were being giving with me. [Or that's how it came off. Open, giving, emotionally revealing.] I was returning the favor.
[How ungrateful!!!]
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I know. I didn't imply I wasn't grateful for it. [ he's learning this to be something about dorian to anticipate. ] You're still the same person I said those things to.
[ and he still means them because nothing could change that. not after the crazed parts of him dorian has seen, not after knowing more than some people ever will. there's an intimacy to that, a certain sort of trust, and though he suspects there's also an equal sort of darkness in dorian, it doesn't bother him. it doesn't scare him or entice him. it simply is, and that's how larus believes it should be. ]
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It's... not a big deal. It doesn't make him any different than what he was before in the vampire's eyes. He's not sure how that could be remotely possible, especially given that he's just admitted his own ongoing deception between them, but somehow it is.
But the longer they stall in the moment, still pressed together and with Larus' hands on him, the more his irritation leeches away.]
So you just... want to go back to what we were doing?
[It's still bizarre to him how little impact his secret seems to have made. It's going to take him a few moments to catch up to Larus again.]
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You said you wanted to please me, [ he reminds him, though it borders on the softest kind of tease. there's no doubt dorian had factored himself into that equation as well. ] We can do whatever you feel like doing. Being with you, either way, is enough.
[ so, they can talk or kiss or do both. larus could hold him and drown in the sound of his heartbeat right next to him rather than from rooms away. he's indifferent to it because all he wants – all he's wanted since he'd become himself again – is to connect to someone he cares about in any way possible. ]
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Are you tired? [A small, thoughtful tap to Larus' side.] We could have sex-- with the proper preparation this time. [That feels worth mentioning.]
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I should be asking you that. [ since dorian had been the one half-asleep on the loveseat not too long ago. ] But I'm not tired.
[ which might as well be larus' agreement to the suggestion, having wanted to be close to dorian in whatever way he could anyhow, and he reaches for dorian's hand, bringing his wrist to his mouth so he can press a kiss to his skin. it lingers, gently scraping his teeth along the flesh of his forearm before tugging him along as he rolls them over. braced on top of him, larus leans down to kiss him on the mouth. soft, sweet, tender. ]
Undress for me. I'll be right back. [ because he's going to get the lube before anything else happens. ]
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Unexpectedly, the request to undress brings him jarringly back to the moment when Larus had demanded the same thing from him outside the portrait room. Dorian frowns at the unwelcome memory as the other man turns and leaves, and then doesn't hesitate to push the little flash of unpleasantness from his thoughts. He hasn't had time since Larus returned to himself to wonder about his personality change, and how much of it was or wasn't actually his vampire nature in some sense. It's not something he wants to think about now, especially when something much more pleasant is at hand.
He dismisses any related notions completely with a push of a hand through his hair, and then goes about unfastening and shifting his way out of form-fitting pants.]
Lucky for us this place is stocked for an orgy. [Stretched out luxuriously, he gestures when Larus comes back. Now that there's nothing else in the way, he wants to get his hands on the other man and get rid of the remaining fabric separating his skin from being touched.]
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instead, he drops the lube just within reach of either of them on the mattress. ]
If you're planning to have one, tell me so I know not to be here for it.
[ the comment is equal parts ridiculously deadpan and genuine, not so much distaste in the words as there is acceptance. if it's what dorian wants, he isn't going to dissuade him from it. they share this space as well as other things; he doesn't need to share in the taste of a bunch of writhing bodies and the smell of sex in the air.
but the idea of it is gone just as quickly when he slips out of his pants and climbs into the bed to join him—just as naked, hardly shy. there's a brief reminder that his hair is slightly damp when he leans down to kiss him, the scent of soap that makes him think of dorian and casimir both obvious when he lingers on it. there is more to enjoy than that though, straddled casually atop dorian's thighs as he looks at him thoughtfully. ]
I thought you would have only kept the ones you like by now. [ he's talking about the lube again. ]
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As long as it's not the kind that's supposed to 'tingle', I couldn't care less. [With an extra note of gravelly distaste, he adds:] Never does anything but burn.
[He quirks a smile up at Larus though and, in contrast to the other man's tight-lipped appraisal, smooths desirous hands up soft and shapely thighs as the vampire comes close. Dorian draws him closer and more fully against him, leaning in to kiss up the center of his chest. He's very interested in what's being offered-- but not like this, this time.]
Prop yourself against the headboard however you're comfortable. [Another velvet press of lips, this time to a peak of Larus' collarbone.] I'll take everything from there.
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I'm sure someone enjoys it.
[ which is just a passing response as he settles into the way dorian pulls him down, and before he moves, larus dips his head enough to to catch the side of the other's mouth in a grazing kiss. then, he's sliding off of him to do as he says, moving some of the pillows out of the way to make room. normally, larus would have been content to just sit straight against the headboard, but he doesn't think that's conducive to their current activity. so, he chooses one to lean into and watches dorian the entire time with piqued interest. ]
Is that all you want me to do?
[ he's not used to it. or, at the very least, not used to helping in some way, keeping his hands resting rather lax on his thighs. but more than that, there's that thought again creeping into his head, the one that's beckoning larus to tell dorian how attractive he is. like before, though, he quells it almost immediately. now isn't the time for it, usually preferring to show his appreciation in other ways. ]
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I'm pleased for whatever you want to add, but I've never thought of the preparation part as a two-man job.
[Not that they're quite there yet. He's already had the pleasure of sex with Larus once and, especially after the trying week they've spent functionally separated, he's more interested in building things up between them again first. If there's any rush, it's to get back to where they were before they stumbled after Larus' sort-of confession. Dorian does re-cap the lube and bring it closer to them, but it's for the sake of it being within reach when things heat up and they need it.
He comes closer, encouraging the vampire to part his legs with a touch to the top of his thigh, and then pressing himself up against Larus. A slow rocking of his hips against the other man's is decadent, and then Dorian reaches out to curve a hand around the back of Larus' neck to draw him into a deep, and lingering kiss. He pulls in a solid breath when they finally part, his expression focused under the veil of the warm darkness of the room.]
This part, yes.
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Larus doesn't even mind it really, focusing on nothing but Dorian as he moves closer and rests between his thighs. It helps him ease into a slightly better position to accommodate him, picking up on the slight increase of that heartbeat when that kiss ends and he feels the rush of Dorian's breath between them. This is something he thinks he enjoys without any irony to it: kissing him. He can feel so many different things, experience several sensations of life in the press of his body and the taste of his mouth. Before Larus says anything else, he presses forward to draw him back in—deep, the slide of his tongue over Dorian's and briefly across his teeth. Savoring, longing for more.
He offers a soft hum in response and nothing else, running his hands along Dorian's back and down to his hips. It's good just to feel him, to remember that he's not anywhere else but right there surrounded by warm skin, and Larus repays that notion with the slightest lift of his hips, slowly curling a foot around one of Dorian's calves for leverage so he can press back against him. A lazy sort of grind, one that conveys he's already a little hard. And when his fingers sweep up to sink into dark hair, he urges him close for another kiss that he takes extra time to explore. Like he's memorizing every nuance of it for no reason other than he wants to. ]
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He'd love to progress to fucking him from this point, but he did make a promise of sorts. One that won't work the way he wants unless he waits for the right moment.
To that end, Dorian ends their most recent kiss with a more purposeful slip of teeth over Larus' bottom lip. His gaze flicks to meet the other man's briefly, and then he shifts to start pressing more purposeful, open-mouthed kisses down the column of his throat instead, a hand gripping Larus' inner thigh shifting to wrap warm fingers around his cock instead. He won't do much here, but he does give him a heady squeeze, craving the feeling of him filling and stiffening in his hand. Once he's started to unravel, that's when he'll move on.]
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Larus gives an instinctive shift of his hips, wanting more but not enough to ask for it. That, too, isn't the same as before, thinking back to the way he'd spread his legs and nearly begged. Just for the closeness, a connection that he continues to crave from the man resting over him. Which is probably why he doesn't fight any of it now, exhaling a purposeful breath as he lets his hands stroke over the smooth skin of Dorian's sides. He trails them over his ribs, down to his hips and lightly digs his fingertips in when he's completely hard against him. There's always a lot of sensation with sex, too many variables that make it impossible to focus on one thing for very long, and when he says his name, it's muted but questioning.
Because he doesn't have to tease him, even if that might be what he's doing. It just has Larus idly running his hands up Dorian's back and sinking them into his hair where the urge to lightly pull grows until he can't resist it any longer. ]
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